Peace Offerings
Or, More Tales of Being an Old Lady at Heart

After doing some soul-searching, I decided to make an effort of reconciliation with the woodland creatures of my yard. Considering the squirrel, and the bird, I concluded that even though I'm not technically responsible for those two tragedies, I should be the bigger mammal and extend an olive branch to the creatures. It's time my yard experienced some peace and tranquility.

It's time to end the war.

So, last night I went to Super Target and bought birdseed. Now, before I get to the next part of the actual story, it's been a really long time since I've been in a Target of any kind. I'm typically a Wal-Mart shopper. Target has heretofore been deemed 'too expensive' because Wal-Mart is usually the kind of dirt cheap I'm looking for. But Super Target was more convenient for me last night, so I ventured in, not sure what to expect. And can I just say.... holy cow!! There's a Starbucks in there! It's like.... nice!! It was quite a pleasant shopping experience. Therefore, I can never go back. I would spend all of my money there, and quite possibly never go home. It's that nice.

Target didn't used to be that nice. Hooray for Target.

Anyway, on with my actual story.

The previous old lady owner of my house, from whom I bought said house, had quite a lot going on in the backyard. Most of it was dead, nearly dead, or just plain clutter. This clutter included four birdfeeders she thoughtfully left for me. When I first got hold of the yard, I cleared out anything and everything that wasn't living or that was more annoying than useful. This meant birdfeeders. I took them down and stored them in my shed.

Yes, I have a backyard shed. It's soooooo cool. If I was nine years old, it would be a perfect playhouse/fort. But since I'm old, it's not.

Ok, it is. I'm not that old.

I brought home a twenty pound bag of birdseed last night. I'd like to see the bird that can eat twenty pounds of birdseed, but nevertheless, I have twenty pounds of the stuff. I went to the shed and chose three of the four birdfeeders. They're actually nice birdfeeders, designed to be squirrel-proof, but not cheesy feeders shaped like a house or a barn or something stupid. Fancy and sophisticated, by birdfeeder standards. I'm sure the birds will be impressed by these dining facilities.

Next came the decision about where to put the feeders. One feeder I remembered as hanging from a hook on the fence. I decided it should go back there. However, I noticed that attached to the feeder was at least thirty feet of chain. This perplexed me. It seemed to me that a birdfeeder should be safe enough hanging from a hook, not needing a chain to also chain it to something. But maybe the birds tried to take it home with them on occassion? Or the squirrels tried to lift it? Perhaps the evil cat tried to claim it? Are there young neighborhood hoodlums that steal birdfeeders for hot items on the black market?? I wasn't sure, and no one really can be sure in this age of pesky squirrels and cats and hoodlums. But, I decided to remove most of the chain, seeing as thirty feet of chain just seemed like a lot of chain for one feeder.

We'll see if it's still there when I get home.

I then chose one of the two free-standing feeders. These feeders are on a tall pole, which is fastened/inserted/jammed into the ground with the hope that it remains upright when birds dine upon it. Fortunately, the ground was still pretty soft from all the recent rain. The combination of soft ground and my impressive upper body strength allowed for much ease in installing this feeder in a prime location near the shed and the fence. I stepped away from it, and it remained standing. This was good.

The last feeder I chose would hang from one of two chains dangling from my huge tree in the yard. Yes, more chains. These chains previously had things hanging from them, and when I attempted to remove the chains from the tree I discovered that the tree limbs had grown around/over the chain. Thus, the chains are now a permanent part of the tree. They hang low enough so that I only hit my head on them every so often. And they aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

They are tree chains.

The tree feeder for the tree chains is a long cylinder-shaped feeder with a dome over the top to keep squirrels away. It's kind of a funky contraption, but I imagined the birds would appreciate watching squirrels bounce off of it, as well as being able to dine by the shade tree. I attached the feeder to the chain and admired my handiwork.

Then I realized all of the feeders were still empty.

So, I removed all of the feeders from their carefully chosen locations, filled them each with birdseed, and replaced them to their specified destinations in the yard. While my main goal was to offer food and friendship to the fowl of the air, my underlying scheme was to attract the birds away from my fig tree on the other side of the yard. Birds apparently love figs. Last year, they got to my figs before I could. This year, I want my figs. Thus, my hope is that the birds will be so happy with the food I present to them on the opposite side of the yard that they will completely forget about the yummy figs.

This plan is so-far foolproof.

Of course, what I realized after I placed my birdfeeders is that I've just made a committment. A major committment. I've essentially inherited many birds as pets. I am now committed to feeding them, faithfully, continuously. I am their life source. I am their supplier of food. They could starve without me. I now have the responsibility of making sure the feeders are always full. I must purchase and keep a supply of birdseed on hand at all times. I cannot let them down. It's an investment. It's a relationship. A one-side relationship. But a relationship, nonetheless.

What have I done??

Eh, I'm an old lady. It's what we do.

Bon appetit, my fine feathered friends.

C.T>