Tuesday, August 12, 2003

If I didn't feel old before, I do now.
I found a sure-fire way to make yourself feel WAY old. Go hang out with a bunch of kids who are about to start their first year of college.

While visiting my parents this past weekend, it happened to be the same weekend as the send-off party for the local kids heading off for their first year of college at my dearly beloved college. My parents like to stay involved with the school, even though they no longer have any kids in college. So they had planned to go to the party again this year. Even though I volunteered to be the one to stay home and keep a watchful eye on our sickly dog, lucky me, I got to tag along as the Token Alumni.

We arrived at the home hosting the party, and at first glance we appeared as two parents and a student. I happen to be young-looking. It's deceiving, but nice at times. Then the introductions started and soon it was clear to all the kids that I was, in fact, old. Upon doing a simple math calculation, which I'm sure I learned during my four years of college, I calculated that I was nine or ten years older than these kids. Even though that's not a huge age difference, the 'young' factor was running rampant amongst these kids. There is quite a bit of difference between 18 and 27.

I was immediately struck by how young they looked. They were so scared and nervous, meeting people for the first time, yet trying to not to appear frightened or nervous about starting school in a week. It's funny how just a few months ago these kids were confident seniors at the top of the highschool foodchain, and now they were young naive newbies headed off to a new school as the low kids on the totem pole. They had lots of questions but were afraid to ask at first. There were several current students mixed among the incoming freshman, and then there was me. Old Alumni Girl.

The people from the university in charge of the event are friends of my family, and as we split the room up into the Parent Group and the Freshman Group, they thought it would be a good idea for me to head outside with the kids. Great, now I was supposed to be Cool Old Alumni Girl with all the answers. I felt a bit out of place, and I wasn't really prepared to be all 'big sister' to a group of college freshman. I had planned to be at home napping nicely at this point in my afternoon.

The current students began talking to the youngsters about general school stuff, the cool places to hang out, how to get involved, etc. It was very much like summer camp, where the counselors try to connect with the kids and make it fun, yet educational. They did a great job, and I figured I wouldn't really be called upon to participate. I could just hang out and eat cookies. But every once in awhile they would turn to me and ask a question, and I would do my best to answer on a relate-able level. But the more I stood out there, the more distant I felt about where we were respectively in our lives, and I knew my two cents worth was not so much helpful or cool, as it was 'Wow, that's weird. We actually have electricity in the dorms now, old lady. But thanks for your tips on good lantern usage.'

I've been in the working world for about five years. I've recently bought a house. I've been through a lifetime of situations in the five or so years I've been out of school, and it became clear to me then just how long ago that seemed, even though five years isn't that long in the grand scheme of things. I loved college, but I did not envy these kids starting the whole college experience. College sucks for the first semester. You're in a new place, with new people, with new freedoms, and new responsibilities, and it is a difficult adjustment for everyone. It gets fun and cool and exciting after awhile, but these kids were in for a tough few weeks and months ahead. SO glad I am past that.

I also realized how much about college has changed in just the short time since I've been there, specifically with my school. The kids kept asking me questions about certain things, yet the majority of these things I'd never heard of. We didn't have a Chili's on campus when I went to school there. We had to drive for five minutes to get there. We actually had to stand in line to register for class, rather than sign-up online. There was no student center with a swimming pool and climbing wall. They built that the summer after I left. I felt like the old lady who 'had to walk to school in the snow, uphill both ways, with a warm potato to keep my hands from freezing.' So many things had changed, I was pretty much obsolete already.

It wasn't a miserable experience. It was fun to see these kids excited about school, and even better, excited about my school. Even at my age, I can still remember being in that place. Ready to get away from parents, but still hesitant to be so far away.

But as many times as I've thought I would have liked to stay in school longer, or that I've wished I could go back to that time, I am now firmly convinced that I am ever-so-glad to not be there anymore.

We grow up and move through life for a reason. If for no other reason, so that others can come along and learn from our experience.

Or at least for them to be thankful that the tuition I paid while I was in school purchased the Starbucks they have now in the new parking garage.

C.T.

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