Monday, June 05, 2006

Water Restrictions are lame. And dumb.
Within the past few days, my city has enacted Level Three water restrictions, due to drought and no rain and apparently not having enough water in the lakes. "Level Three" makes it sound all serious and stuff. The basic rules are this:

1. I can only water my yard using a sprinkler on trash pick-up days, which for me is Tuesday and Friday.

2. I can't wash my car, hose off the driveway, or the house, or basically put water anywhere that isn't grass or lansdscape.

3. I can water my foundation using a soaker hose any old time I want, or I can water my landscape and yard with a handheld sprayer any old time I want, if I want to stand there and spray water at the dirt for hours on end.

4. No watering between 10am and 6pm.

I mean, I'm all for water conservation. I already adhere to most of the rules anyway. I don't water between 10 and 6, I don't wash my car (that's what the carwash places are for, people!), and I don't usually wash my house (except now that I CAN'T wash it, birds have decided to poop all over my back door and siding. It's like they KNOW I can't do anything about it. How do birds poop sideways, anyways???)

But, I oppose city enforced water restrictions. The restrictions seem to not actually save water, and serve mostly to make the whole yard watering process frustrating and difficult. Which, maybe that's how they win in the end. People are so frustrated with the restrictions, they just give up trying to water anything, thus saving water.

Anyway, my reasons for being anti-water-restrictions are severalfold.

1. I can't water during the day (see Rule #4). I'm at work anyway. So, I either have to get up earlier to turn on the sprinkler, or water in the evening, on my designated days. But, I'm not usually home on Tuesday or Friday evenings. So, if I miss one, does that mean I can't water again until the next Tuesday or Friday? My lawn will not survive a whole week without water. But my lawn should not be punished for me having to work at night sometimes (or not wanting to get up early.... ever).

2. Since I can't necessarily be home every Tuesday or Friday night, I think we should get to pick which two days work best for us to water. Who are you to tell me which days my lawn gets water? Rude.

3. Every street has at least a few people who just never water their yards, no matter if restrictions are in place or not. They don't seem to care if their yard looks like crap. I, however, enjoy a nice, green lawn. So, for every neighbor who routinely goes all week without watering, I should get an extra day of water that week. Right? Technically, they have instructions to water two days a week, but they CHOOSE to forego their water ration. Therefore, I should get it. It's only fair.

4. If there is bird poop on your house, you should be allowed an exception to hose it off.

5. If my lawn gets so dried up from these water restrictions that it doesn't come back anymore, the city should have to buy me a new one. FRONT AND BACK!

6. If it were up to me, I would water my yard every two to three days, for about 30-45 minutes in each place where I move my sprinkler. I have a timer on the hose so that even if I leave the house or forget about the sprinkler, it still shuts off according to whatever time I set it.

BUT, now that I can only water two days a week, I actually water LONGER on those two days. And I water EVERYTHING on or near the grass to make sure ALL of the grass is getting watered. Which means sometimes the concrete gets a little more watered than it should (even though that's against the rules), but since I now have limited time to get EVERYTHING watered, I can't spend as much time fine-tuning where my sprinklers hit. Which means, I'm probably actually using MORE water in my efforts to work around the two day a week mandate. This seems to be the OPPOSITE of the goal of the water-saving restriction plan, doesn't it?

Basically, I applaud efforts to conserve water. There are responsible ways to water and still have a nice yard and landscape. But, I don't think the city should get to tell me when and how to water.

It just causes too many problems for me. And I'm too chicken to cheat and water on the wrong day. Everyone on my street could water on the wrong days, water the house, water the birds WHILE they poop on the house, and have a waterfall in the front yard. But the FIRST time I would water on the wrong day, I would be the one person on my street to get caught and hauled off to Water Restriction Prison to be made an example of to the community of bad, very bad, water behavior.

I'm kinda thirsty now, with all this water writing. I'd better go check to make sure I can drink water on Mondays.


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