Sunday, June 18, 2006

My Take on Basketball
Don't get me wrong, I love basketball. I'm watching the Mavs. I'm a fan. I even played basketball in school. I know the rules, I know some of the players, I know strategy. I can watch intelligently. I do enjoy the game.

But my take on it is this: We don't really need to halves to the game.

In fact, we should just get rid of the whole first half entirely. It's not necessary. It essentially has no bearing on the outcome of the game. You can be winning at halftime, and still lose the game. You can be down by 20 points at halftime, but come back to win in the second half.

In the meantime, it wears me out to watch 4 hours of basketball just to find out who wins the game in the end. Plus, it's just too stressful.

So, I propose this:

1. Get rid of the first half.
2. Don't even start with halftime. Everyone hates the halftime show anyway. Just get rid of that, too.
3. Start both teams with 50 points.
4. All players start with 2 fouls.
5. In place of a first half and to get everyone warmed up, start with a game of HORSE.

I estimate all of this lasts about 2 hours. So, if a game starts at 8:00, we can all be in bed by 10:30 at the latest.

Now, don't get me started on overtime. I hate it (like I'm watching right now in Game 5. It just totally stresses me out and keeps me up way past my bedtime).

BUT, since we obviously can't end in a tie, we have to do something. So, instead of playing another 5 minutes of overtime, end in a game of PIG. It's the same as HORSE, only a shorter word that takes less time to spell.

It's genius.

Now, back to the last 1:29 of overtime... if I can stay awake.


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