Saturday, March 18, 2006

If I only I did more drugs...
So, I finally watched Walk the Line this afternoon. It was one of the few Oscar movies I hadn't seen, yet. Agreed, Reese Witherspoon was fabulous and definitely deserved the Oscar.

But, my reaction to the movie as a whole is this:

Drugs + Alcohol + sleeping around + accidentally discovering you can sing = fame and fortune as a rockstar

We saw it last year in Ray. We saw it before that in Great Balls of Fire. We saw it in the made-for-tv version of Elvis.

Really? Is this how rockstars happen? Are these the people we hero-ise, we worship, we want to be like? Is this the lifestyle we idolize and dream about? Dude, Johnny Cash was sober for MAYBE 15 minutes of the movie. The rest of the time he was drunk, high, and throwing stuff at people. In between some of that, he sang a bit. Otherwise, he was hurting everyone around him and making people clean up after him.

This is good?

It's not that I don't have an appreciation for the genius of the music, although I admittedly don't listen to a lot of Johnny Cash. Or Jerry Lee Lewis, for that matter. Great Balls of Fire? Not really my anthem.

But if I am to learn anything from these movies, it is that since I can already kinda sing some, I may already have the potential to be a rockstar. Like, I can carry a tune and whatnot. But what is missing from my fame and fortune is that I am responsible enough to get through my life sober.

If only I did more drugs and had more dramatic freakouts, I'd have been a rockstar a long time ago. Really, I'd be due by now for my crash and burn phase, shortly followed by rehab in about a year. I am, after all, 30 years old now. WAY overdue for getting started on my rockstar career and a lifetime of being addicted to strange black pills.

So, my question is, why are all of these American Idols working so hard? They like, take singing lessons and rehearse and have to endure week after week of scrutiny and criticism for their craft. We make them audition, and audition more, and even then, most of them will never make it as true rockstars. We even kick people off of the show who have been arrested.

Shouldn't we be keeping the ones with criminal records? All the best rockstars do hard time!

The Idols already have the exposure. We see them every week on TV. But clearly they are not watching these great movies, or paying any attention to our current rockstars. They will never make it in this world if they don't get drunk, take some pills, sleep with each other, then break everything on stage for next week's competition.

Take it from Johnny. And Ray. And Jerry Lee. They have shown us the way.


PS: I totally ended this blog by throwing my computer out the window, then slamming three Colt 45s and a bag of heroine. I'm a blogstar!

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