Letter to the Local Phone Company
Dear Local Phone Company (you know who you are),
Every time I have to deal with you, I am sad. And mad. And frustrated.

I don't even have local phone service anymore, but unfortunately my church does. And therefore I am still forced to deal with you. On behalf of the church, and Jesus.

You send me a postcard telling me our savings plan will no longer exist. You offer that there is a new savings plan available. But you tell me you cannot automatically switch us to the new plan, and we must call within 30 days to make the switch. Otherwise we will lose all discount plans and our monthly service will cost more.

Why, then, can you take services and discounts away without our approval, but you cannot switch us to a new and comparable plan without our approval? You can increase the cost of our phone service without asking us, but you cannot help us save money on our phone service without our permission. This is jacked up.

I call and you are not helpful. I do not have our account number with me, and therefore you are rendered completely useless. I can refer only to the postcard you sent me that tells me simply to call you and you can easily and swiftly tell me of the new plan and make the switch for me. For a moment, I believe you.

You take down our phone number, my name, our church's name. You can verify these details of the account. Yet you put me on hold to see if you can access our account, and when you come back you say you cannot. You say I need three more digits added to the phone number that make up our account number. You say you cannot do anything for me until I have these three digits to access the account.

This is inefficient. This is frustrating. This is stupid.

I say I will call back later when I have the digits. When I do call later, your automated service tells me you are closed until tomorrow.

It is nearing the end of the 30 days, yet I cannot get cooperation from you. You are closed when I am available to call you. When I call and finally get a customer service agent who is actually available, I am told I do not have enough info to be rewarded with the help I long for.

If I cannot get you on the phone and able to access the account, our simple phone service will automatically become more expensive. I think this is your evil plan.

Local Phone Company, you taunt me. And I dislike you. Very much.

Sincerely,
C.T.