Things I Don't Understand
Here are just two of the many things I don't understand.

1. Sears
Sears is really only good for two things: car stuff, and tools. So why does Sears continue to sell clothes, Christmas decorations, or anything other than automotive services and tools?

Don't get me wrong, Sears is great with the tools and car stuff. I purchased Lifetime Rotate and Balance on my tires for $40 about two and a half years ago, and every time I get my tires rotated and balanced, it's free. That is a sweet deal.

And tools, I could spend some serious time wandering through all of the tools, in awe. I am a girl, and I don't know what most of the tools do. But they are very pretty and shiny, and for some reason just because I have a house, I feel like I need tools. I like to do handy things myself. I don't do anything major. But the other day while I was waiting on my tires to get rotated and balanced on the Jeep, I saw some table-saw-jig-whirly-something-or-other that was on sale, and I'm pretty sure I need one.

It was huge and red and very shiny.

The best thing about Sears and tools is when they put the clearance stuff out on tables in the middle of the aisles around Christmas time. It's like an endless sea of bins full of cheap tools, similar to candy in a candy store. One year I wandered through with my parents, and ended up with a saw, some screwdrivers, and some other handy kit of some sort. I think it all cost about $10. And I didn't even know I needed a saw until I saw the saw in the bin of saws.

I've sawed one thing with the saw. And it came in a pretty blue cover. For safety. It's the perfect saw.

Sears is also good for putting tools in handy kits. If you put any kind of tools in a "kit", I almost cannot resist buying it. Especially if it's labelled "Safety." I saw a Road Safety tool kit the other day at Sears (still while waiting for my tires), and I had to think long and hard before talking myself out of buying it. I could probably use it (jumper cables, socket wrenches, etc.), but I also have free roadside assistance for those kinds of things.

But it was a kit.

There is a tool kit at IKEA, and every time I see it, I have to remind myself that I don't need it. It is so compact and handy, I am pretty sure that I do need it. Plus it's only like, five dollars. But then I remember that I already have 17 screwdrivers, plus an electric screwdriver, and a hammer, and three wrenches. I don't need any more. Even if they do come it a handy carry case.

So, this leaves me to force myself to walk OUT of the tool department at Sears, while waiting for my car every time I take it, because I will buy all of the tools that I don't know how to use and don't need. Which makes me have to wander through the clothes department to get out of the store completely. And this makes me wonder why Sears still sells clothes, because I NEVER see anyone in the clothes department at Sears.

Everyone is back in the department that I just left, drooling over the tools, while they wait for their cars to be ready.

The other thing I don't understand tonight is this:

2. Walker, Texas Ranger: The TV Movie
And maybe more specifically, this phenomenon known as Chuck Norris.

For some reason, I was drawn into watching a few minutes of the Walker, Texas Ranger movie on TV tonight. I now want to gouge my eyes out. And I'm a little mad at my remote for working. It's because the remote worked that I changed the channel during a commercial on another channel, which landed me in Walker, Texas Ranger hell.

My questions are this: 1) Why is Chuck Norris allowed to act, in public, on TV?, and b) Why is Walker, Texas Ranger back on my TV? The show was cancelled several years ago. Can Walker not take a hint? Does he really think, "Now that my show has been off of the air for several years, the world is crying out for a full length movie of Walker, Texas Ranger goodness."

We aren't.

I mean, Chuck has yet to convince me to buy a Bowflex, or whatever it is that he infomercials with Christie Brinkley. Does he really think he will convince America that Walker, Texas Ranger is a good idea? Now? After all of these years?

Tonight's TV movie seemed to involve a rumble between the Rangers (including Dallas' own Janine Turner as a Ranger, another questionable actress of low quality), and some North Korean ninjas. How do I know they are ninjas from the North Korea sect of ninjas? Because they said it 108 times in the 3 minutes I watched this terrible movie.

Yes, you heard me. Chuck Norris vs. Ninjas. At Fair Park. At night.

I felt bad for the ninjas. Not because Chuch Norris was winning. But because they sold out to being in this movie.

They must be former ninjas.

I can only hope that the next Walker Texas Ninja movie doesn't take place inside a Sears.

C.T.