Heels!
I wore heels to work the other day for the first time, um, ever. Friend C was not aware that I even owned a pair of heels. I didn't. They are new. And they were $11.

I share the same affliction as Friend A, that I cannot help but tell people how much things cost when I find an incredible deal on something fabulous.

Anyway, I'm really not much of a heel wearer. The reasons are severalfold:

1. I'm tall on a normal day. I'm quite comfortable with my normal height.
2. I am adamantly all about comfort. Heels are not comfortable. If I could institute wearing scrubs and flip-flops to my office job everyday, I would be in heaven.
3. I'm more ok not drawing unecessary attention to myself on a routine basis. I am the most predictable person on earth. So, when I do something out of my ordinary, EVERYONE notices. It's frightening.

This was my day in heels:

8:00am - I feel great. Heels are cute. They look great with my new pants. I am ready to make a statement. I am super hot.

8:35am - I have walked from my house to the Jeep, driven the Jeep, walked from the parking lot to the building, and made it all the way to my desk without falling in the heels. I am invinceable!

9:00am - So far no one has noticed my heels. I am very okay with this. I've been sitting at my desk, nonchalantly hiding my shoes. Unfortunately, I am about to have to walk to the printer.

9:01am - Co-worker notices both my new cute shoes, and how tall I am. I am taller than I have been everyday for the year or so I have worked here. She calls me Too Tall Tyrant. The name sticks for the rest of the day.

12noon - 108 comments have been made about new shoes, and my tallness. Which is odd because I don't work with 108 people. People are coming over from the other side of the building to see why I am being called Too Tall Tyrant. I am amazed that a heel of an inch or so in shoe height must translate into at least a foot or four in people height. I am nine feet tall.

1:00pm - MY FEET HURT!! How do you people wear heels on a regular basis? It's torture. But, I have to say I still love the shoes. They are certainly cute. Albeit, painful.

1:05pm - I give up walking. I keep printing stuff to the printer, but I stay at my desk, hoping the new girl will continue to bring my stacks of paper to me from the printer. It works. And anything that she doesn't bring me from the printer, I deem it unimportant until such a day as I am wearing non-heeled, more comfortable shoes.

4:00pm - I have to get up. I have to walk to the bathroom. I notice my shoes have developed an interesting squeak as I walk, drawing even more attention to me. Now I am wearing new shoes, I am nine feet tall, and I make a lot of noise when I walk. So much for trying something new and hoping no one notices.

6:00pm - Leave work #1, head to work #2. Looks like I picked the wrong day to wear new, uncomforable shoes. My day is not over, yet. And, I have stairs to climb.

8:45pm - Home. Shoes off. I will let them hide for a month or so before I try that again.

8:46pm - My feet actually thank me for taking away the painful stimulus. It was quiet, but I heard it. They said, "Thank you for freeing us from the very tall and very uncomfortable shoes. While they are very cute, they are also very hurty. Please don't do that to us again until we have a chance to fully recover."

8:59pm - I am finally proud of myself for doing something out of my ordinary today.

And, it was kinda fun to be freakishly tall all the livelong day.

C.T.