Billboard Trucks. I don't get it.
I mean, I do. I get that they are to advertise stuff. But I don't know who thought this was a good idea.

For one, it has to be one of the worst jobs ever to drive these trucks around. You've seen them. The trucks that serve no purpose but to be a billboard. They drive around town. All day. It's the equivilent of walking around with a sign on your back. You drive, people stare at what's behind you. It's ridiculous.

Then what. Do you really think people are reading your ad, focusing attention on reading a truck that is swerving in and out of cars while they drive? Do you really want them to focus their attention on that? Isn't that dangerous?

Personally, I can't look away. I saw one today and I couldn't figure out the ad, and all I could do was stare at it and try to figure it out. NOT SAFE.

People, I AM DRIVING. Why follow me around with a truck of billboards to read?

And do you really want people grabbing for a pen and trying to jot down a phone number or whatever it is you want them to remember by your roving ad truck? Is that safe?

Um, no.

And in traffic, I do not want to be stuck behind an ad for the new CW channel with the 7th Heaven gang staring back at me for 30 minutes. It's creepy.

Therefore, I am OVER billboard trucks.

OVER. IT.

C.T.

Why would you do this?
Why would you intentionally pick the middle stall in the bathroom when all of the stalls are open?

This just automatically makes it uncomfortable for whoever enters next, because there is no possible way to get around having to be next to you. And I don't even know you. Not that I dislike you. But everything is all off-balance. And there is no reason why we shouldn't have stall between us if the option is there.

Also, yesterday I found a chip in the bathroom at work, next to the toilet. Why would you do that?

Don't eat chips on the toilet.

C.T.

I did a bad, bad thing
The other day, I woke up and my sprinkler was running.

Why is that bad, you might ask? Well, because I don't have automatic sprinklers that come on by themselves. Which meant the timer hadn't shut off and it had been running ALL NIGHT LONG.

So.... what.

Well, here in Texas we are in what is known as a drought. Therefore, we are under watering restrictions. Because my water ran all night, I broke several rules:

1. No more than 30 minutes in one place.
2. It was after midnight, so it was technically not my watering day anymore.

Um... maybe that's all.

Needless to say, I freaked out. I ran out in my pajamas and shut if off, then ran back inside before anyone saw me. I've been VERY careful about my yard watering, careful to go by all of the rules. And through no fault of my own, for whatever reason the timer didn't shut off this one time. Yet, I've felt guilty all week for wasting all of that water.

Of course, I don't think anyone saw it. And I don't think I will actually get in any trouble for it. Yes, my water bill will be too high and very suspicious for using 108 million gallons all in one 8 hour period.

Oh, and now I have this really nice green circle in my front yard from all the water. It's a little TOO green, suspiciously green. It stands out from the other houses on the street.

So tonight, it rained a little. Not enough to count for anything. But just enough to ruin my plan of watering AROUND the green spot tonight, to even things out. To hide my crime.

I've been praying every night that I don't go to water restriction jail.

I wish I could put a plant over that night green spot. You know, like you do when you get a spot on your carpet?

C.T.

The World's Best Mullet
Over the past week or so, I've been going through a lot of pictures. I've been working on a project to print and frame photos for my walls.

After completion of the project, survey says.... AWESOME. It's super fun to have friends and family all over my house all the time.

But, in going through photos, I came across one of my prize photos from my second trip to Russia several years ago. Let me start with the story...

This guy was the host in a restaurant where we had breakfast one morning. He had the most amazing hair I have ever seen in my life. We could tell he was super proud of his long, luscious locks. And he was completely oblivious to our snickers. He would walk around and turn his head, allowing for his flowing hair to swirl around, showing off. But this seemed to be just how he walked and flaunted on a normal day. He wasn't doing this to impress us.

He was also completely oblivious to this sneak photo I took of him. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.... Mulletov! (we are pretty sure that means "awesome mullet" in Russian)



Needless to say, I think this is the best mullet on the planet. And while the trip to Russia was amazing in and of itself, traveling that far and getting to see this amazing work of hair made the trip totally completely absolutely worthwhile.

Jealous?

C.T.

PS: I did not put Mulletov on my wall, but I may rethink that.

That time of year again
Still miss you...

The best drive home ever
I hate driving home after work because of all the traffic and the fact that it's more than a 5 minute drive. I just want to leave my office, blink, and be home. I get really impatient in the car.

But today I had the best trip home ever. First, I never hit a red light until two red lights before Staples, where I needed to stop for a few items. This means I drove for about 15 minutes without having to stop. It was genius. This cut at least 10 minutes off of my drive.

Ok, probably less time than that. But still, it made the drive much speedier in my head.

I was in and out of Staples in less than 5 minutes. What I needed was right by the door, and there was no line at the checkout.

Then I hit Home Depot across the street, and I was in and out of there in 10 minutes.

Then I dropped off a prescription, and I decided to grocery shop while I waited. Right as I walked up to the pharmacy after shopping for 10 minutes, my prescription was ready. No waiting.

Then I hit all of the green lights from the grocery store to my house. Genius.

All together the time from my office, 3 stops, and to my house was an hour. That's ridiculously no time at all in the big city full of after work rush hour traffic.

It was nice. And left me in a good mood.

I enjoy that.

C.T.

Don't worry....
You can always get a good mix CD in Texas.

Mix - I'm Okay
Livin' La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin
I Wish - Stevie Wonder
Rosanna - TOTO
Every Little Thing She Does - The Police
The One I Love - R.E.M.
Hot in Herre - Nelly
She's All I Ever Had - Ricky Martin
Cray - Alanis Morissette
Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics
Stand - R.E.M.
Sir Duke - Stevie Wonder
The You Move - Outkast
Shake Your Bon-Bon - Ricky Martin
Superstition - Stevie Wonder
Every Breath You Take - The Police
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me - U2
It's My Life - Bon Jovi
Shiny Happy People - R.E.M.

Mix - 00s Alt Rock (this one had an earlier version with a couple of minor variations)
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
How to Save a Life - The Fray
Psychobabble - Frou Frou
Somebody Told Me - The Killers
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
Look After You - The Fray
They - Jem
Hospital Food - David Gray
Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
Float On - Modest Mouse
Everybody's Changing - Keane
Over My Head - The Fray
How We Operate - Gomez
Just a Ride - Jem
One Chance - Modest Mouse
Your Eyes Open - Keane
The One I Love - David Gray
Little House - The Fray

C.T.

Discovery of the Day
I realized today that pretty much the only reason I buy a newspaper on Sunday is to get the Target sale paper.

Everything else before I get to the sale paper is torture with anticipation about what's on sale at Target this week.

Everything after the sale paper is anticlimactic.

It's terrible, but it's true.

C.T.

Neither Soup, nor Salad
Today I ate lunch at Souper Salad with a good friend. It was good times. We go there for the novelty of big salad, potentially grody salad bar, and people watching.

But I noticed that they are trying expand past soup and salad and get all fancy. And I say to Souper Salad, be what you are. Soup and Salad.

I found these items at said Souper Salad. They are neither soup, nor salad:

Pizza
Tacos
Ice Cream
Smoothies

If I want these things I will go to pizza places, or taco places, or ice cream places. I come to Souper Salad for soup and/or salad. And to make fun of things.

Plus, I've never understood why they have waiters at Souper Salad. All they do is bring your drink, and then clean up after you when you leave. Is this worth anybody's time? Do we tip them? I mean, we have to get all of our own food items. Why can't we also get our own drinks?

Bizarre, I say. The whole thing is bizarre.

C.T.

I've had some really random thoughts lately
Like, I think if I were captured and tortured for information, I would be okay and not give away the information that the bad guys were trying to get from me.

Not that I hold any pertinent information at all. And the likelihood of me ever being captured for the purpose of information and tortured to get to it is very, very slim.

But I've watched a lot of Alias and even though the torture looks pretty bad, everyone on the show is okay like, 5 minutes later. And I like to think of myself as a Sydney Bristow understudy. I even have cargo pants.

So if they are okay and can withstand torture and not give info, I think I could too. I have a high tolerance for pain, and I have no info.

I'm golden.

C.T.

PS: Do not attempt to capture and/or torture me. This is only theoretical, as I would probably cry like a big baby the entire time and then you'd be sorry that you grabbed me.

Hair Metal
There are so many good Hair Metal songs to pick from that there may someday be Hair Metal II. But for now, I hope you find this to be as good of a mix as I do:

Welcome to the Jungle - Guns n' Roses
Rock You Like A Hurrican - Scorpions
Here I go Again - Whitesnake
Heaven - Warrant
Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard
Come on Feel the Noize - Quiet Riot
We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
Rock and Roll All Nite - Kiss
You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi
Love Hurts - Nazareth
Nobody's Fool - Cinderella (by special request...)
Cherryl Pie - Warrant
Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
I Remember You - Skid Row
Higher Ground - Red Hot Chili Peppers (this one isn't technically "hair"; I just like it)
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
More Than Word - Extreme

Because any good Hair Metal CD should end with the cheesiest Hair Metal Ballad of all time: More Than Words.

Enjoy!

I mean... BANG YOUR HEAD!

C.T.

She's moving away, y'all!
This is a photo tribute to our friend Emily, because she's leaving us this week to go off to grad school, and we don't really know what to do with that. Der.




















Em, I'm glad to know you. Have fun and hurry up with that whole finishing school thing. We'll miss you.

Video chat lots.

And . . . come home soon. We gotta go to the Fair, y'all!

C.T.

Why Big Toilet Paper?
My one beef with SuperTarget is that they don't always have the widest selection of items. Not that I willl stop going there several times a week. I love Super Target. But for instance, toilet paper.

I always by the Charmin regular rolls. That's just my preferred brand of TP. It's cheap, yet nice and soft. But not Nice n Soft. That's a different brand.

But last time I went to SuperTarget to buy toilet paper, they only had the LARGE rolls. No regular rolls. This brought on several questions:

1. Why does Target not have regular rolls of Charmin? They are my favorite. Have they banned the regular rolls for some reason? Are the regular rolls harmful in some way that I was not aware of? Has Target just saved my life from unsafe toilet paper rolls?

2. Did Charmin discontinue the Regular rolls in lieu of these giant rolls? They say that it is the same amount of toilet paper as a couple of the regular rolls, but their thing is that you have to change the roll less often. And that's supposed to be an awesome selling point.

3. Why does Charmin care how often I change my roll of toilet paper? I like the regular size roll because it fits perfectly into my toilet paper holder. But even though Charmin claims that their big roll also fits fine, it doesn't. I mean, it fits. But I have to cram it. And then the cardboard roll gets bent, so then when you pull toilet paper off of the roll it rolls funny and it keeps ripping the TP before I have an adequate amount in my hand. Sure, I might have to change the roll less often, but that means I have to deal with awkward toilet paper rolls MORE often.

4. I'm not entirely convinced that there is all that more TP on the big roll. I mean, there is definitely more than the regular roll. But why mess with a good thing? I mean, were people contacting Charmin and requesting that they go to their TP Lab and develop an atomically large roll of toilet paper that holds twice as much TP yet somehow still fits perfectly into the same space on a toilet paper holder? It's possible. But doubtful.

I just want my regular roll of toilet paper. I don't care if I have to change it everyday. In fact, I might would do that anyway just because I can do it and I know it won't be a hassle. The big rolls are stressing me out. The bathroom should not be stressful.

Regular rolls, I miss you.

C.T.

Mix CD Challenge
The mix CD obsession has taken on a new phase. Last night Jen challenged me to come up with a good Hair Metal mix. I accept her challenge.

So, apparently I take requests. However, let it be understood that completion of your requested mix CD depends entirely on the amount of money I can allot to my mix CD fund at any given time. Which right now, is pretty much no money at all for a bit. It's kind of an expensive habit when the Russian download site won't work for me....

Nyet!

But never fear, the era of Mix CDs is just getting warmed up. Good mixes are still to come.

And yes, I do other things with my time than just sit around and think up mix cds....

C.T.

Cheese

Open Arms - Journey
I Just Wanna Be Your Everything - Andy Gibb
When I See You Smile - Bad English
More Than a Feeling - Boston
Hard to Say I'm Sorry/Getawat - Chicago
Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper
Here We Are - Gloria Estefan
Stay the Night - Chicago
Brandy (Your a Fine Girl) - Looking Glass
Take a Bow - Madonna
You're the Inspiration - Chicago
Can't Live Without Your Love - Nelson
Always Tomorrow - Gloria Estefan
We Can Last Forever - Chicago
Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
Hold On - Wilson Phillips
Come Sail Away - Styx

I'm obsessed. I can't help it.

C.T.