Monday, January 30, 2006

A Moment of Reflection: The Downy Ball
I have only recently embraced this amazing contraption, this bundle of genius in ball form known as the Downy Ball.

Almost nothing on earth makes me quite so happy as the smell of fabric softener. I love when my clothes reek of the stench of fabric softener. I love when I walk through my laundry room and I am punched in the face by the pungent aroma of fabric softener.

I wish I could fart fabric softener. I really do.

So I'm always on a quest to make my clothes smell as good as possible for as long as possible. I've gone so far as to throw as many as 5 fabric softener sheets into the dryer with a load of clothes. Nevermind that it's a waste of fabric softener. I want that smell infused into every thread of every piece of my clothing.

It is never enough. It has been a futile quest for all fabric softener, all the time. I am never satisfied with the scent of my clothing. It has to be the right fabric softener scent, and in the correct dosage.

I want more fabric softener. Always more.

Then I discovered the Downy Ball. Albeit about 10 years after everyone else on the planet has discovered it, but whatever. What matters is, I am in.

This one tiny ball that holds liquid fabric softener harnesses the power of at least 10 mighty fabric softener sheets. It literally melds the scent of fabric softener into my clothing, attaching itself into every oraface. The scent and the clothing become one.

Then, just for safe measure, I toss in a fabric softener sheet while the clothes are in the dryer. It's Downy Ball, plus Downy sheet.

It's fabric softener heaven. But will I ever truly be satisfied? Will I ever stop wanting more?

I don't even stop at the recommended fill line on the Downy Ball. I always put more liquid in the ball. There is too much room left in the ball NOT to add more liquid. I want to be seeped in fabric softener. I bought the large bottle of Downy that promises to do 80 loads of clothes. I doubt my bottle will last through 40 loads.

I over-soften. But it's sooooooooooooo good.

And how does it work? This mystery ball. How does it know when to release the fabric softener goodness at precisely the right moment? I fill it, I pull that little plug, I sit it on top of my laundry, I start the machine. And then it works it's magic.

It's smart, and it smells good. What more could anyone want in life?

Thank you, Downy Ball. I love you.


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