Dear Jared,

We don't care anymore.

We get it. It's been 10 years. You've still got those huge pants that don't fit you anymore. You ate a lot of Subway sandwiches, you lost weight.

I, however, have lost my mind having to see you on my T.V. for the past 10 years.

Please tell me you have found something else to do in the past 10 years. I hate to think you lost all that weight only to sell your soul to Subway for all of eternity.

Because frankly, I can't handle an eternity of seeing you and your huge pants on TV to sell sandwiches.

We're over it.

Dear Subway,
Jared. 10 years. Big Pants. Sandwiches.

I stopped eating Subway sandwiches (coincidentally) 10 years ago.

We're over it.

Please find another spokesmodel.

C.T.