As I watch the Miss America Pageant....

these things come to mind.

One-piece swimsuits will ALWAYS get you kicked right out. I mean, come on. If you make the Top 10, even if you are a Mormon, you'd best show some skin if you want to keep going.

Why is tap dancing in such a ridiculous manner all over the stage considered a legitimate talent? How is that going to save the world or help diabetes or help poor people? I just can't help but laugh at the tap dancers.

I need to play the piano with more flare. I need a big read, feathery dress.

If you're going to butcher a perfectly ridiculous Phil Collins song, national TV might not be the best place to do it.

If you are the two Miss Congeniality losers, I guess you have to be really, really nice while losing on stage. You know, being a contender for Congeniality and all. Although it would have been awesome to see one of the losers just totally go nuts and punch out A.C. Slater.

If you are going to butcher a perfectly good Andrea Bocelli song, national TV is probably not the best place to do it.

Nigel is pretty.

I'm not really sure who dressed Debi Allen tonight, but yuck.

Shilah just made the Top 3. Stay tuned....

C.T.