Can someone tell me where the bathroom is?
I've made it through a few days of the new job. This is always a stressful time for me, for any new job I've ever started. It's mostly because I worry about everything, I'm extremely neurotic but too introverted to show it outwardly, and I just simply fear new things.

I have to say, though, that I'm enjoying the new job. Oh sure, it's completely insane and I feel completely inept at most things I've been asked to do. I've had way too much information thrown at me, and I'm already expected to do things with that information. It's the complete opposite of working at the shelter. It's hectic, it's busy, it's very little downtime. And people are nice and stuff. But even just environmentally speaking, it's a good job change for me, so far.

Of course, there are always the things at a new job that make anyone and everyone feel like a complete idiot. They hired me because I have a college degree, I have the appropriate work experience to fill this job, and because they feel I can come in and do this job well. Masterfully, even.

So.... why can't I operate the fax machine? Why do I have to have a lesson on how to work the copier, followed by proving I still don't know how to work it? Why can't I figure out how to check my voicemail or get into the system to record my outgoing greeting? Can someone show me where the bathroom is? Does my coffee cup go in the dishwasher, or should I wash it? Should I even use these cups? Where is the paper for the printer? Where is the printer? People ask questions like, "Has anyone shown you how to check your email?" Or, "Do you know where your mailbox is?" Or, "Have you ever seen one of these before? It's an Excel spreadsheet."

These are the things that reduce me to an absolute mess in my first few weeks at a new job. It's bad enough having to learn the job itself, learn new products, procedures, people, etc. When the computer won't let me log in because I forgot to enter my billable hours for the day before, that just pushes me over the edge.

On Day Two of this new job, the Fax Machine and I had a day-long duel of wits. It simply would not let me fax. Three or four of my co-workers kept coming to my desk with the non-confirmation-your-fax-didn't-go-through page from the fax machine, which incidentally alerts all who pass by the fax machine that the new girl can't fax. I have a college degree!!

Turns out, I wasn't dialing '9' before the '1'. Yeah, it took me five tries to figure that out.

It's simple stuff, but I forget how much of it I take for granted before going to a new job. I may have hated the last job, but I knew how it worked. It was familiar. I had my routine. I knew how to use the phone. It offered little frustration in the way of office equipment and procedures. At the new job, someone had to show me how to park in the garage yesterday. I know how to park, I've been in garages before. Yet, we had to schedule a time for Parking Garage 101.

The best part, though, was during my first day, amidst all the paperwork and introductory stuff. It was....... the Sexual Harrassment Video. Soooooooooooo great.......

I had to sit in a room, a room with windows that allowed everyone to see me in the room, alone, watching this video about sexual harrassment. I couldn't decide whether people should see me interested in the video, or if they should see me as casually uninterested. I'm the new girl. These things could dictate the rest of my social career a this place.

But, I found I was inadvertently intrigued by the video. It was a preventive/warning type video. But the title of the video is printed on the cover in such a way that if you look at it without really reading the whole title, the words that stand out are "How To Sexual Harrassment". I'm pretty sure it actually says something like, "How To Avoid and Prevent Sexual Harrassment." But, it was more entertaining to me to think of it as a 'how to' FOR sexual harrassment. Beyond that, the bad acting and instruction of the video just really made that twenty-four minutes a welcome part of my first day.

In fact, I'm making plans to create my own Sexual Harrassment video.

I'm sure it will involve a scene at the fax machine, learning how to use it AND avoid sexual harrassment at the same time.

C.T.