Let the Games Begin!
Ok, so I've been neglecting the blog lately. But not intentionally. Truth is, I've been training for the Olympics.

Well, to watch the Olympics, that is. I love me some Olympics!

I'd venture to say it takes almost as much training and discipline to watch the Olympics as it does to actually participate in any of the sports at the Olympics. It's not easy to be dedicated to so many different sports at all hours of the day for two straight weeks. Those of us who are called to do so must answer that call and watch with the best of our abilities. It's not an easy task, but it must be done.

Of course, this means watching even the sports that I question as actual sports. Some of these sports are as follows:

1. Kayaking- I mean, are there even rapids in Athens? Now, I understand that riding in that tiny boat without the use of your legs is not an easy thing to do. But really, to me this belongs more in the Extreme Sports genre. I'm sure it takes training and endurance. But is this a 'sport' of quality to consider it 'olympic'? I think not. All of this applies to Olympic Canoeing, as well.

2. Rowing- My thoughts on this are similar to kayaking. Sure, it's a lot of work. But, it's really just an option on how to get from Point A to Point B, with a group of your friends. Plus, that little person in the front is just getting a free ride. She'll get a medal with the rest of the rowers on the boat. But you know all she did was sit there and eat a sandwich while the rowers got her to the other side of the pond.

3. Men's handball- This is a 'sport' I've just noticed for the first time this year. I'm pretty sure I've never watched a game of handball, or even understood it to be a real thing played by people other than kids on a playground during recess. How do you train for this sport? Do countries really have teams for this? Does the U.S. have a handball team? Do they really just get out there and hit a ball around with their hand, and then get a medal for it? Did the ancient Greeks do this? So. Very. Odd.

4. Equestrian- Seriously, if the horses aren't winning the medals, then this shouldn't even be on the list of events. The horses do all the work. Whoever is sitting on the horse is clearly just along for the ride, and probably because they enjoy those weird tight pants. I mean, if Equestrian is a medal-deserving event, then that thing on the Animal channel where the dogs run the obstacle course should also be an Olympic event. It's the same thing.

5. Sailing- Same thing here. The boat and the wind do all the work. Sure, people run around on the deck and move sails and stuff. But really, they are not in control of where the boat goes or which one gets there first. The boat should win the medal. I'm pretty firm on that one. If sailing is a medal-worthy event, Nascar should be, as well. (And I say that as a true hater of Nascar)

6. Synchronized Swimming- This is an age-old debate, and quite frankly my favorite non-sport. Anything that requires the use of make-up and costumes = not a sport. This also applies to the Rhythmic Floor dancing. Sure, it takes lots of skill and training to float in the water like that, or to writhe around on the floor as they do in the floor routines. But, add costumes and make-up and you've immediately negated the whole 'sport' aspect of it. I do amazing water routines in my shower every morning, and because I do not wear make-up or a costume while doing this, I am WAY more deserving of a medal than the Olympic Synchronized Swimming Team. (note: please do not tell them where I live because they could easily beat me up, one at a time. They're strong.)

But, even though I question the validity of these sports as 'sports', I have no choice but to watch and be amazed, entirely caught up in Olympic Fever. I just can't help it.

So, for the next couple of weeks I will be thoroughly engrossed in the watching of the Olympics. It was always my dream as a kid to become an Olympic gold medalist in some sport. I think at this point in my life I have begun to accept that unless I invent a completely new sport and immediately become an expert and world record holder for this made-up sport, I am too old to ever realize my Olympic dreams in a normal everyday, already existing sport.

But, I always look forward to this extravaganza of sports competition. The triumph, the emotion, the competition, the shiny medals. And, of course, the making fun of the Opening and Closing ceremonies.

I mean, what was with that girl and her Glo-Worm belly?? So. Completely. Weird.

The games have begun.

C.T.