I tend to be a bit of a scrooge when it comes to trick-or-treators.
As a kid, we celebrated my dad's Halloween birthday every year, instead of trick-or-treating. We still celebrate dad every year, but at the ripe old age of 30 I don't really care that I'm missing out on trick-or-treating. I never really missed it as a kid, either.

What we did instead of wandering around the neighborhood in search of candy from our neighbors was find inventive ways to avoid trick-or-treaters. We'd take my dad out to dinner for his birthday, like, all night. We'd stay gone for hours. Sometimes we'd stay home and hide in the basement with the lights out, the only light in the house coming from the T.V. with the volume turned low.

As such, I've become somewhat of an expert on thwarting attempts to trick-or-treat at my house. This year is no exception. Here was my strategy for the big day today.

First, I'm generally pretty mean to the kids in the neighborhood year-round. It's important to set that precedent at all times. I yell at them for running through my yard. I give them the stink eye when they wander too close to the driveway. I'm well on my way to being that crazy, mean old lady down the street.

Then, I worked late tonight. Turns out I had a lot of work to do anyway. This was convenient in aiding my anti-trick-or-treator agenda.

When I got home, I checked my mail without turning the porch light on. This almost landed me face down in my flowerbed, but I managed to stick the landing and get back indoors safely and undetected by lurking trick-or-treators.

Then I stumbled around my house with as few lights on as possible. I turned on the T.V., keeping the volume low, so as not to be heard from outside. I ate my dinner by candlelight. Not romantic, mind you. All part of the hideout plan.

I did buy candy, just in case. And by "just in case", I mean just in case I have to stay indoors for days to throw off any lingering trick-or-treators that might think it's a good idea to come knocking on my door say... tomorrow night. Not-so-fun size Snickers and candy corn, all for me. Take that, little kids in costumes!

And for my final touch this year... I turned on the sprinklers. Full blast.

No one rang my doorbell. No one begged at my door, asking me for food, money, love.

I called my dad for his official birthday greeting from me (we celebrated his birthday already on Sunday), I ate my Halloween candy.

Another successful anti-trick-or-treator year.

Boo-humbug.

C.T.

I've been eating a lot of pickles lately
I tend to find a food and eat it all the time until I get sick of it. Then I find something else to take it's place. Until I get sick of that.

While I do like pickles right now, I don't like that there are only like, 6 pickles in a jar. This means I have to buy jars of pickles like, every week. Because I'm not about to sink so low as to buy a giant, economy size jar of pickles. As soon as I buy the giant jar of pickles, I'll get sick of them, and I'll be stuck with excessive pickles that I won't eat.

Last night I had pickles for dessert.

I hope pickles are good for me. Because I've been eating a lot of pickles lately.

I hope the next thing that I eat comes more than 6 in a jar.

C.T.

This is my new favorite drink



Lipton Green Tea with Citrus

The first time I bought it, I thought I would like it. But I didn't.

But I had a whole case of it, so I had to drink it.

Then I decided I love it. And now I drink gallons of it by the caseload.

Drink it.

C.T.

Cable Conspiracy
Recently, Time Warner cable bought out Comcast in our area. While this may be a happy thing for Time Warner, so far I'm not so much happy with the change.

It happened yesterday. When I checked my mail I saw that I had something from Time Warner. It was the new channel lineup. Clearly they think this is a good thing. The envelope boasted this change as though it is very exciting for me....

Your new channel lineup enclosed! We're adding more than 35 new channels!

I was skeptical. And rightly so.

I currently have the most basic of basic cable. It's the local channels, a lot of spanish channels, plus TBS and my favorite, The Discovery Channel. I love Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs. I can't help it.

But these few channels are all I need and all I want. I don't need any more distraction.

Well, as I read over my new channel lineup, I quickly saw that Time Warner has all but destroyed my perfect channel setup.

No more TBS. No more Discovery Channel. Both of these have been moved to a higher tier of cable service. And replaced with.... C-SPAN.

Who watches C-SPAN????

The channel lineup also promised me that "now it's easier than ever to find my favorite channels!" Well, not so much easier to find if you don't offer them for what I'm currently paying anymore.

This means that in a few weeks, if I want to watch my beloved Mike Rowe slosh his way through more Dirty Jobs, I'll have to pay more for it. Plus, I'll have a bunch more channels that I don't want or need.

I'm not happy about this.

I mean.... My displeasure is enclosed! Now it's easier than ever to see that I'm unhappy about my cable service!!

C.T.

Just when I think my job is the most stressful job on the planet...
(and most days it is)

... watching 7 episodes of The West Wing makes me feel better about it.

Running the world everyday is probably much more stressful than my job.

At least some days.

C.T.

LOST Season Premiere Check List

Me - check

TV - on and working

VCR - recording

Comfy spot on the couch - check

Two bottles of Lipton Green Tea - check

Two (not so) Fun Size Snickers - check

Peanut M&Ms (back-up snack) - check

Macbook, open and ready to take notes - check

Wireless internet - working

Warming up with a fresh episode of America's Next Top Model - check


I'm all set for an hour of LOST goodness.

T-minus 14 minutes and counting.

LOST, baby!!!!

C.T.

If you need me today, I will be here:



It's the State Fair of Texas, y'all!!!

Fried food
Corny dogs
Big Tex
Marilyn Monroe butter sculpture
Pygmy goats
Chinese acrobats
Petting zoo
Free stuff
93 degrees in late September

AND... The Fair Gang to enjoy it all with

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Get there.

C.T.

Wonderful World of Windshield Wipers
So I replace my windshield wipers regularly, as any responsible car owner does. And by "regularly" I mean when they start making that horrible screeching noise across my windshield. I figure that's the signal for needing new wipers, right?

Well, I haven't replaced the wiper on the back of the Jeep, um, ever. I've had it for 4 years. For awhile, it was just blatant neglect. I love that little wiper, don't get me wrong. But, I just figured since I use it much less than the front wipers, it doesn't really need to be replaced as often. Right?

But then once I decided it was time to replace it, since it was really only smearing water and slime around on the back window, making it difficult to see, I just haven't been able to find that wiper blade anywhere. So then the neglect turned into lack of supply. It's an 11 inch blade and NO ONE in the world carries it.

Do car part makers assume that everyone is like me, refusing to change that back blade? Surely someone other than me needs it, so they have to be out there somewhere. One would think.

As a last resort I looked it up on the internet, just to see if a store I hadn't thought of might have it. I'm desperate, at this point. I'm annoyed that I can't see out of my back window in the rain. The little blade I took such pride in having was now a source of frustration for me.

And it was making the terrible noise.

So, I ended up ordering it online. What does this say about me, that I ordered a windshield wiper online? Turns out the blade I need is not stocked anywhere. What??? I was forced to purchase it online. I had no other choice.

Now I'm just saying, this blade better last for another 4 years. And it better be plated with gold, because I paid twice as much for it to order it online, with shipping included. Insane.

And the sad thing is, one day I will come home to find a package on my front porch, and instead of opening it to something fun, it will just be a wiper blade that I paid too much for.

It better start raining a lot. I've got a new fancy blade to help me see out the back window.

C.T.

America's Next Top Whiners
The best part about the Macbook and wireless is that I can blog WHILE I watch TV.

Genius!

Ok, I love how the girls argue, cry, and whine about their makeovers. Without fail they do this every year in the second episode. Yet they ALL look better afterwards.

Don't argue with Tyra. She knows what she's doing, girls.

So glad you're back, ANTM. Oh how I've missed you!!

It's a particularly whiney bunch this year. Should be good times.

C.T.

Today I am having fun with Photoshop







C.T.

The mystery that is my yard
The following plants and flowers were all but dead-ish as of last week. I've done nothing to revive them.















Amazing what a bit of rain and a slight change in the weather will do. And some amazing non-gardening on my part.

C.T.

I officially don't care about ER anymore
Now that I can blog and watch TV at the same time, I can bring you this late-breaking, up-to-the-minute news before tonight's season premiere even ends.

I'm watching the show right now, everyone is either shot or having babies or kidnapped, and I don't even care.

Jerry could die in the next 20 minutes. Abby could lose her baby, or she might die. Sam may never be un-kidnapped.

I just don't care anymore.

The show may officially be dead to me.

I'm sorry to be so cruel, but it's true. I just needed to admit that for all to see.

C.T.

More Famous People
I saw Bob Vila at a restaurant during lunch today.



And the reason I was out for lunch today was to meet a longtime fan of my blog, Mark. In which case, I guess I was the famous person. . .



Mark was in town for the Cowboys game and we decided to get together for lunch. I rather enjoyed it, getting to know part of my blog community on a more personal level.

And of course, seeing Bob Vila for lunch.

C.T.

It's Season Premiere Week!
Once again, it's the time of year when if you need me, I will be in front of my TV.

Sunday - The Amazing Race
Monday - Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (this better be good)
Wednesday - America's Next Top Model (and LOST when it come back next month)
Thursday - My Name is Earl, The Office, Grey's Anatomy, ER (I'm about to break up with ER, so it better be good or I am OUT)

These are the basic must-sees, leaving a few hours here and there for new additions, should I discover any.

And I plan to do all of this without Tivo, using only old fashioned VCR technology and careful planning.

Stay tuned for my thoughts.

C.T.

The ice cubes cometh
A couple of weeks ago, my ice maker broke. I deduced that it was broken because it no longer made ice cubes. I tried everything I knew to fix it and make it work again. This included banging on it and moving that little lever up and down a lot.

After a couple of weeks of no new ice, I admitted to myself that it really was broken. It's an old fridge that came with the house. It's just a matter of time before things start to go on it.

So, I broke down and spent 98 cents on some ice cube trays. I admitted defeat. I would have to make my own ice.

I filled up the trays with my Brita water, which actually made me feel better about it. I would have purified ice cubes that would taste better than the cubes coming from the freezer's water hose. This might not be so bad after all.

The cubes froze and I dumped them into the cube holder thingy. I filled the trays again. Not so bad. I'd be allright.

Fast forward a couple of days. I'm in my bathroom getting ready for work and I hear the sound of the ice maker filling up with water. It makes this high-pitched screeching noise that can be heard all over the house, including in the garage.

Um, what?

Turns out, the ice maker healed itself and has decided to work again. And it has since dumped an abundance of ice cubes onto the cubes I made in the trays. So now I have more ice cubes than I know what to do with, and I'm afraid to turn it off for fear it will never start again.

I may have to have an ice cube party to use up all of this ice.

C.T.

I am nothing without my morning cup of coffee

I am old and set in my ways.

I am routine to the nth degree.

I am habit personified.

And it better be good coffee.

C.T.

Roadtrip to Tulsa
Why not?

My dad and I went to visit my Grandma in her nursing home this weekend. This meant we got to make an exciting roadtrip to Tulsa.

Woo-hoo!

Highlights from the trip include:

1. A Tulsa mix cd. Of course.

2. Beef jerky? YES.
My dad and I are proud jerky junkies. We stopped (um, twice) at The Peanut Shoppe (www.thepeanutshoppe.com) - once on the way, once on the way home. They have good jerky. I recommend a stop there if you're ever passing through Durant, Oklahoma.

3. Bingo with old people.
My dad and I rolled my Grandma down to the 3:00 Bingo and we played Bingo with her and all of the other old people. The catch was that my Dad and I tried really hard NOT to win. He warned me that the other old ladies get mad if you win and take the prizes. So, my dad and I watched old person after old person get a Bingo while we cheated NOT to win. No one noticed that we were the only two people not to win anything, and the old people loved us.

4. Animal Planet
My grandma loves Animal Planet. We watched that a bit.

5. Dinner at 4:30.
They start lining everyone up for dinner to start serving at 4:30. And then it becomes the longest dinner ever as they bring one tray at a time to each person. My dad and I watched 4 old ladies eat the smallest amount of food possible in the longest amount of time ever. But, they loved us being there.

6. My grandma loves to show us off.
First, she recognized both of us when she first saw us, and she had no idea we were even coming. And then she impressed both my dad and me with what she remembers about us as she told her friends about us. She remembered that my dad is super helpful, at which point my dad had wandered off to help some old ladies we didn't know. And she remembered that I am super smart and can do just about anything I try to do. She was right, of course, on both counts.

7. More beef? OKAY!
One old lady was talking about how much she loves steak while we watched her eat the saddest sloppy joe I've ever seen. Then as my dad and I left the nursing home for the night, we both looked at each other and decided steak sounded good. So, we had steak for dinner. BEEF!

8. Fireballs + Coke = Keeping you awake in the car
One of the prizes at Bingo that we tried not to win was a bucket of fireballs, which I thought was an odd prize for really old people with no teeth. But, I was craving fireballs after that, so I bought some for the drive home. We ate a whole lot of them. And then we ate more beef jerky.

All in all, it was a good trip and a good visit with Grandma. She looked good, she's eating well, and she carried on good conversations, considering. She looked much better than last year when I thought that was the last time I would see her. She jokes, she picks on me and my dad, she's familiar. It was good to see her.



C.T.

Random fact about lemon juice
It is, in fact, found on the juice aisle.

I took a gamble and learned this new grocery store tidbit of useless info today.

I pass it on to you.

C.T.

Billboard Trucks. I don't get it.
I mean, I do. I get that they are to advertise stuff. But I don't know who thought this was a good idea.

For one, it has to be one of the worst jobs ever to drive these trucks around. You've seen them. The trucks that serve no purpose but to be a billboard. They drive around town. All day. It's the equivilent of walking around with a sign on your back. You drive, people stare at what's behind you. It's ridiculous.

Then what. Do you really think people are reading your ad, focusing attention on reading a truck that is swerving in and out of cars while they drive? Do you really want them to focus their attention on that? Isn't that dangerous?

Personally, I can't look away. I saw one today and I couldn't figure out the ad, and all I could do was stare at it and try to figure it out. NOT SAFE.

People, I AM DRIVING. Why follow me around with a truck of billboards to read?

And do you really want people grabbing for a pen and trying to jot down a phone number or whatever it is you want them to remember by your roving ad truck? Is that safe?

Um, no.

And in traffic, I do not want to be stuck behind an ad for the new CW channel with the 7th Heaven gang staring back at me for 30 minutes. It's creepy.

Therefore, I am OVER billboard trucks.

OVER. IT.

C.T.

Why would you do this?
Why would you intentionally pick the middle stall in the bathroom when all of the stalls are open?

This just automatically makes it uncomfortable for whoever enters next, because there is no possible way to get around having to be next to you. And I don't even know you. Not that I dislike you. But everything is all off-balance. And there is no reason why we shouldn't have stall between us if the option is there.

Also, yesterday I found a chip in the bathroom at work, next to the toilet. Why would you do that?

Don't eat chips on the toilet.

C.T.