Hell and Damnation

My Grandma had surgery to replace her pacemaker a couple of days ago. My parents went up to be with her for a few days.



The latest report today is that the surgery was simple and went great, and that she is doing great. She had been sluggish and disoriented due to the lack of oxygen getting to her brain because of the malfunctioning pacemaker. But now she is perky, chatty, and feeling good.

In fact, she is feeling so good that she has picked up a new habit in the past few days since the surgery. She now cusses like a sailor. And apparently it is hilarious.

My mom called with the update earlier today, and she told me all about my grandma cussing up a storm, and that they all just die laughing because it's hilarious. Even hearing my mom repeat the things my Grandma was saying was hilarious. You have to understand that my grandma is just one of those ladies that doesn't do that. She never goes a day without her make-up on (her "face" as she calls it), even in her nursing home. We never used to wear cut-off jean shorts to visit Grandma because she didn't approve of that as acceptable attire. My Grandma is a role model, through and through. I have never heard her swear in my entire life. God-fearing and upstanding all the way.

But I guess now that she's getting full oxygen to the brain again, and considering she's 86 years old, I guess she figured she's got nothing to lose, so before it's too late, she'd better get some good cussing in....

So, as one of my role models in life and as someone I've always respected, I say if she can do it, SO CAN I.

Hell. Damn. Damn. Damn...... Hell. Damn.

I definitely needed the laugh today. For the first time in five and a half years, I only have one job. I've suddenly been given the gift of time, but with less money to fill my time. Granted, it's only 8-10 hours a week of time. But I'm not quite sure what to do with this unexpected change in circumstance. More time to sit alone on the couch eating cheese, I suppose....

My keychain is lighter. It's odd. The weight of a keychain is comforting and familiar. Mine is strange and foreign now, and it makes a different noise when my remaining keys clank together. I don't recognize it.

It's been a perfect night to hunker down with some comforting Whataburger, my pjs, and my DVR. I'm tired. I'm weepy. I don't know what to say.

So I'll take a cue from one of the wisest people I've ever known....

Hell. Damn Damn Damn. Hell Hell...... Damn.

C.T.

Neckties and Pantyhose

I'm not really sure who decided that neckties are the accessory for men that make them fancy. But I'm not sure why they chose the necktie as that particular fancy-making accessory.

I just spent two days in meetings with men who had to wear neckties. Sure, a good necktie adds a certain perfection to a suit, or even just to a shirt without a jacket.

BUT...

A BAD necktie (especially with a BAD shirt) just ruins everything. Ruins the shirt, ruins the suit, ruins everything. Ruins the whole point of wearing the tie, which is to make you look NICER. But for every good tie-shirt combo, there's like.... 108 BAD tie-shirt combos walking around out there.

Plus, they're obviously not comfortable to wear. And they always get in the way. Guys are always throwing their ties over the shoulder to eat and to generally keep them out of the way. What's dressed-up about a tie thrown over your shoulder?

Now, I'm not saying there were any bad ties and bad shirts in my meetings this week. I just found my mind wandering from time to time, and I kept staring at all the ties and wondering .... why ties?

It's like pantyhose. Who decided that pantyhose are the accessory needed to dress up us ladies? I mean, you get ONE run in your pantyhose and you take what was a fabulous attempt at dressing nicely for some sort of fancy occassion STRAIGHT to trailer trash with a run in your hose. And there's no way to fix it when you're out and about. You just have to be trailer trash.

In your Oscar dress on the red carpet, being Glam-Cammed by E! = FANCY

.... but with a run in your hose = Trailer Trash. Even though it is an Oscar dress and probably costs 108 thousand dollars, the run you just got in your hose while tripping over Ryan Seacrest totally takes you down to trailer trash for the rest of the evening. Nothing you can do about it.

Even if you win an award..... sorry. Still trailer trash, because you got up on stage in your fancy dress, but with a run in your hose.

That's just the way I see it, folks. Neckties and pantyhose. Pretty sure we should rethink that whole thing.

C.T.

In Florida again

For work. Again.

Here are some thoughts.

Catching a plane at 7:50 am is not so much fun. Sitting in coach while two of your bosses are in 1st class.... even less fun.

I always do stupid things when I travel. On business trips, I have to work really hard to do the stupid things where none of my bosses see me. Like... last trip home, somehow I accidentally didn't lock the bathroom door on the plane. And yep, sure enough some guy opens the door and gets to see, um, a whole lot of me. The back row of the plane got a good look, too. Fortunately none of my coworkers or bosses were anywhere near. SUPER embarrassing. I have told no one this. Until now.

And now everyone in the world knows.

This time, I accidentally sat in the wrong seat on the plane. I mean, really. Who can read row numbers at 7:30 in the morning? But then when I got to my actual row, I ended up having the whole row to myself. So that worked out nicely.

Then I got up to go to the bathroom, and I walked right by it. I assumed it was at the back of the plane, but nope. It was in the middle of the plane. Who puts a bathroom there?!?!? Fortunately I did lock the door this time. But then when I walked back to my seat, I PASSED THAT, TOO. One of my bosses did see me do that. Lovely.

Then later, at dinner, I almost walked into the men's restroom.

Maybe I just have a problem with bathrooms that aren't in my house.

What my hair loves about Florida is that it is REALLY windy and REALLY humid, all at the same time. I'm looking fabulous, I must say.

I've got a king-size bed, which is AWESOME. But there's just one problem. The clock is on one side of the bed, and the phone is on the other side. So if I set the alarm AND get a wake-up call, I have no idea how I will be able to silence BOTH of them in the morning without seriously hurting myself, because they are SO FAR AWAY from each other. Seriously, you could fit like, 50 of me in this bed.

I don't want to iron my pants for tomorrow. I'm hoping the wrinkles just fall out on their own.

Yes, I did wear my Chuck Taylors with my suit all day up until the point I actually had to go into the meeting with clients. My bosses made fun of me, but hey, if I have to travel before dark in a suit, at least my feet will be comfortable. I insist. And I will do it on the way home tomorrow, too.

Seriously, the "business center" in this hotel consists of one desk with a computer on it, in the middle of the breakfast nook in the lobby. I think "center" may be too generous of a term.

For the first time ever in my life, someone introduced me by pronouncing my last name correctly the first time, and then they FORGOT my boss's name completely. HA!

The Ft. Lauderdale airport this morning was littered with weary Super Bowl fans decked out in Super Bowl garb, literally just laying all over the floor as we arrived. i must say, I felt extremely overdressed in my suit.... and Chuck Taylors.

That's all I got. Time to get some work done in my big king-size bed.

C.T.

Happy Birthday....

...to the one NOT in the awesome red plaid jacket/shirt.



Big Sister

Well, I was only one off.

But she should have won.

After all, she had some of the best free coaching ever from me and a group of my peers....



I hate the Misses of Oklahoma.

C.T.

As I watch the Miss America Pageant....

these things come to mind.

One-piece swimsuits will ALWAYS get you kicked right out. I mean, come on. If you make the Top 10, even if you are a Mormon, you'd best show some skin if you want to keep going.

Why is tap dancing in such a ridiculous manner all over the stage considered a legitimate talent? How is that going to save the world or help diabetes or help poor people? I just can't help but laugh at the tap dancers.

I need to play the piano with more flare. I need a big read, feathery dress.

If you're going to butcher a perfectly ridiculous Phil Collins song, national TV might not be the best place to do it.

If you are the two Miss Congeniality losers, I guess you have to be really, really nice while losing on stage. You know, being a contender for Congeniality and all. Although it would have been awesome to see one of the losers just totally go nuts and punch out A.C. Slater.

If you are going to butcher a perfectly good Andrea Bocelli song, national TV is probably not the best place to do it.

Nigel is pretty.

I'm not really sure who dressed Debi Allen tonight, but yuck.

Shilah just made the Top 3. Stay tuned....

C.T.

Miss America 2007, y'all

I'm predicting that tomorrow night will crown Shilah Phillips as Miss America 2007. I can claim a small role in Shilah's success winning Miss Texas through some expert pageant coaching, and I feel confident that she will go all the way. And that she would be nothing without my help.

I changed the look of the rantings.

In case you didn't notice.

C.T.

i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall
i hate the mall

Read this last night
In a book of reflections on the teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

It is a love not simply for friends, but also for enemies. It is a love that burns not only in the fire of familiar intimacy, but burns equally bright in the hot coals of enmity and rejection.

This is no mere human love. This is God's love made recklessly abundant in the human heart. . . . That we know little of such a love is a sad comment on the spiritual emptiness of our present world . . . Only a deeper conformity to the Christ who forgave those who crucified Him can spawn such a love into such cold hearts as ours.

C.T.

When will the wait be ogre?
I just saw a commercial for the new Shrek movie.

And by "new' I mean it will be out in 115 days. How do I know this?

BECAUSE THAT'S THE AD. Yes, the wait will be "ogre" in 115 days.

Now, my questions are these:

1. (since this is a kid's movie and all)... are movie-promoting people under the impression that kids can count to 115? I can barely count that high and I'm a very old kid.

2. Do these same movie-producing people under the impression that kids are going to figure out when 115 days is in the future, mark it on their calendar, and wait patiently until that day?

3. Are parents interested in hearing this for the next 115 days: CAN WE GO SEE SHREK TODAY? IS IT TODAY?? IS IT TIME FOR SHREK??? ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR... AHUNDREDANDFIFTEEN!!!! I WANNA SEE SHREK!!!!

4. So seriously, everyday for the next 115 days, are we going to see this Shrek movie commercial counting down to Day 1?

I'm not really sure I understand this marketing logic. But I guess it's never too early to start promoting stuff to ensure the success of a project.

So just so everyone knows, in 115 days (which I think is sometime in December of 2010) I won't care that Shrek III is now available in theaters, nor will I care that the wait is "ogre".

C.T.

Happy Birthday to Me!
Yep. And it's been a good one. All weekend.

Dinner with friends.

Home-cooking with the family. Nap with the puppies.



Some much-needed birthday house-cleaning. I tell you what, it's something special to have a clean house for my birthday, even if I cleaned it myself.

Today was a day off from work. A facial with my mom. A jaunt to Target. Whataburger for lunch. A birthday nap.

AND, I cooked. Yep, dinner is simmering on the stove. And it's NOT from a box. It's an actual recipe.

I wrote a whole blog in my head during my facial, but then I forgot it because I was so relaxed. I've never had a facial before. It. Was. Awesome.

She cleaned off 30 years of face grime, so now I will start with a clean face slate. I'm not really sure what all she did to me, but I'm pretty sure at one point one of the masks was Vics Vaporub.

I don't care. It was awesome.

Tonight is a brand new Heroes and a brand new Studio 60, plus my Mamaw's taco soup (that's what I made for dinner, yo).

Happy, happy birthday to me.

C.T.

Also...
I've just discovered that American Idol uses Garage Band for their musical interludes because I just recognized a clip I found in Garage Band and used in one my musical masterpiece arrangements on my sister's CD that I made for my mom.

Garage Band is genius. And clearly, so am I for using it. I could have created the soundtrack for American Idol and be rich and famous by now.

Dang.

C.T.

The consensus is....
Simon doesn't know anything about music at all.

At least that's the word on the streets in Minneapolis and Seattle.

C.T.

Aging Well
I hear that phrase sometimes when you see, say.... an old lady that looks absolutely great. You say "Wow, has she aged well." Or when you see an old lady that looks about another 100 years older than the 100 years old that she really is. You'd say "Wow, she has NOT aged well at all..."

But, that's not really what I'm refering to here. I'm thinking more in terms of lifestyles as we age, at any age. How we progress through our lives as we age as individuals. I think it's important that as we grow older, as we work through what maturity means for us, or what responsibility means for me, or spirituality or family or our place in our lifespan progresses through the years, that whatever that means for each of us, we are doing what we can to age well .... wholistically.

Sure, I also hope to be that old lady that gets a "Wow, has she aged well!" But that's really beside my thoughts here.

I don't do New Years resolutions. I don't necessarily believe that the start of a calendar year is the ideal time to start new things or make life changes. I know for me, my moods, ideas, responsibilities, growth, and changes are almost never related to 12:01am January 1.

BUT, it just so happens that my birthday is in January, so I think about these things coincidentally as the new year begins. Each year for the past few years, I've spent the first few weeks of January thinking about what I want my next year to be for me. Goals, changes, projects, finances, people in my life, whatever. There's no formal process for this. But I like to make myself take the time during this period before I start another year of my life to think about my life, what I like, what I don't like, and what (if any) changes I know I should really think about take action to make progress in those areas.

I'm not always successful at turning my review into actual actions. But, I tend to be sentimental, and a "reviewer". I'm constantly reviewing things and thinking back on things. So instead of turning that into an obsessive thing during the few weeks before my birthday when I'm thinking about my upcoming year, I try to think about it in productive ways of my place in life and if this is really where I want to be now, and if not, where I want to go and what can I do this year to move towards that.

I'm sure this all sounds much more proactive and goal-oriented than it really is. But really, it's just something that I do to take stock of things and ask myself some questions. And I really haven't been doing it for that many years.

Last year when I turned 30, I realized that I really wasn't happy. And I've been unhappy for a long time. And, when I thought about it, I couldn't really pinpoint what was making me unhappy. So, I decided that I wanted to start my 30s making a bold effort towards happiness in my life because I don't want my 30s to start like my 20s ended in the happiness department. Time is just too precious to waste being unhappy for no good reason.

I decided I needed some help with this. So, I started counseling last January. This was a big deal for me. I'm still going and I'm still exploring "me" and my quirks and foibles and how I can be happy inspite of how much I make myself crazy. But it's been fabulous (especially the drugs that have come with it....).

That's a big confession for my blog, but I'm feeling really open right now. My expectation for starting my 30s happier and healthier came with one major caveat for myself, and that was no deadline. I didn't want the pressure of "I have to be happier by 31!." I wanted this to work and to be helpful, so I wanted to just work through all that it involves in a way that it really sticks and really makes a difference. Because if my 30s are going to be happier as a decade, I can't start it with a quick fix or by not paying attention. A bandaid fix isn't going to last. Plus, it's not cheap. So I have to make it count as I go.

Much of the past year, truthfully, has been even LESS happy for me than 29 was. But, it's a process. It's digging in and putting words to fears, anxieties, struggles, hopes, dreams, disappointments, and figuring how to look all of that in the face and make myself feel better about myself, my world, my life. It's making changes that are hard to make, it's accepting things that are hard to accept, it's basically an overhaul of the past 30 years of being a certain way and figuring out the best ways to keep who I am but turn that into a happier me. It's part of my aging well agenda. And it's leading to understanding myself better, being happier, and getting past what is WRONG to what I can make RIGHT. It's genius.

So that was 30. Next week I face 31.

I haven't spent time with many specifics for 31. I haven't laid out a plan. But I've got a general idea of what I want for myself this year.

1. I want to get promoted at work. I want to respect my job. I want to be happy there. I want to succeed. I want to commit.

About 4 or 5 months ago I was having a REALLY rough time at work, in part due to being a mess outside of work. I was messing everything up. I wasn't focused. I dreaded going to work everyday and I had a really hard time making it through the day with any ounce of sanity. Plus, I wasn't really the nicest person to work with on most days.

Not that I'm 100 percent NOT a mess as a whole today, but I've had a heart to heart with myself about my job and I've decided it's time to stop playing around with it and half-heartedly being there. It's time to commit. Not to say I do poor work. I do a good job on a normal day and I always keep a commitment to a certain level of good performance and integrity in my work. But, I could really rock that job if I set my mind to it.

I want a raise. I want higher status. I want more responsibility. And I've already begun. I've gotten two new clients in the past two weeks. I've been to meet one of them in Florida. I'm cranking out reports and agendas and meetings. I'm knocking heads, I'm keeping everyone on task. I'm speaking up in meetings and tossing around ideas with the bigwigs. I'm now working from home some nights and some on the weekend to make sure I am not missing anything, and to show my bosses that I am really in this. I've found that if I check email even just once on a Saturday, shuffle some emails around (making sure to copy at least one boss on a few of the emails) it has already boosted everyone's confidence in me that I am taking care of my business. I had to have a heart to heart with myself about that, too. Bringing work home. But I've realized that if I want the raise, the promotion, the respect of my peers and bosses, it's going to take some hard work for awhile.

Plus, throwing around some key marketing words and phrases from time to time (even if I have no idea what I'm talking about) works WONDERS for people's perception that I am capable to handle the job. I am REALLY good at picking up things from people, observing and learning how to use words or phrases or processes (and eventually learning what they mean). That's been an asset.

So, I'm on it. This job thing.

And it's already paid off. Today, two different bosses came over to my desk at two separate times and gave me huge props for some conference calls I led this week and dealing with our new clients. That's a huge deal. So, I'm on my way for this goal. I'm already catching the attention of the higher-ups. And that is good. I mean, after all I am 31 years old. I have been with my company for two and a half years. I am past entry-level positions and depending on others to make sure I am doing my job. I want to grow up a bit at work. I still feel like a kid in a grown-up's job sometimes. But that's not the case anymore. I'm the adult now.

And strangely, I've found over the past couple of months that I really enjoy my job. I'm actually having fun there during the day, crazy as it is any given day. It's nonstop almost everyday. But, I enjoy the people I work with. I'm settling in to a new groove of professionalism, organization, and just really working hard to be available as a resource and contribute to the organization, treating everyone with kindness and respect. It's like something has clicked in me lately, and things are starting to come together in a way that works for me at my job. I'm keeping up with details, focused, and looking for more ways I can make a difference beyond just being a task-master.

Of course, my goal is NOT to become one of those workaholic nuts that works all the time, on the weekends, evenings. If I ever get to that point, I'm OUT and it's time for a career change. But for now, I'm seeing what I can do to get ahead, and that's a big step for me. I've never seen myself with a "career" or getting the hang of this marketing thing, or having goals to move ahead in my job. I'm a "creative", not a marketing brain. But I've found that I am good at the marketing and the details if I make the effort to learn and stay focused.

In fact, I shouldn't be sacrificing the time to blog right now.... ha! But I am. And I've discovered that working at home in my pjs on my Macbook while I watch American Idol really isn't so bad after all.

2. I want to work on my personal connections.
Over the past year, I have flaked out at some point (and as a general bad habit) on pretty much everyone I know. I'm terrible at keeping in touch, whether you are close by or far away. I've checked out. I've shut down and holed up. And I want to get back to my relationships and responsibilities with friends and family. They are important to me and I need to be sure I am showing that in every way possible.

3. Along that vein, I want to spend more time with family. Not always in quantity (although more often is good), but also in quality. And this has already happened a lot over the past year or so. I've just got a really great family - my parents, grandmas, aunts, uncles, cousins and their family. Um... and the puppies, of course. I've been able to see family more over the past year, spend more time with my parents, and connect with them. I want to be sure they know what they mean to me, and I have a history of not communicating that very well. I want to improve that and continue enjoying time with them. They are super precious, after all.

4. I want to take better care of myself.
Over the past year or so, I have developed some bad habits that I want to go away, and I want to work on other good habits that I need to make a priority. I truly hate the word "habit". I don't think we really do things out of habit. We choose to do or not do things depending on our levels of selfishness, self-centerdness, laziness, or appearances. I need to brush my teeth every night, but when I don't it's because of laziness. Not necessarily tied to a habit. The habit is either that I DO brush my teeth every night, or I DON'T - a habit either way. But my actions are motivated by whether I care to stay awake for another 3 minutes, or if I decide I don't care about my teeth tonight and I'd prefer to snuggle under my electric blanket and get to sleep right now. The bottom line is, they really need to be brushed every night, and I kinda want to do that.

Of course, this issue isn't related just to my teeth or any form of hygiene, really. I want to make more time to read, and choose things to read that improve my life and help me age well. I want to balance my time better, allowing for plenty of time for my introverted recharging rest alone in my house, but also to allow more time for spending with people. I've sacrificed time with people a lot to hole up alone. I want to eat better. I'll eat a Totinos pizza every night of the week because it takes no effort from me and it costs a dollar, and I can spend "cooking" time doing something else. But at the end of the week when I feel like crap, maybe 5 Totinos pizzas in a row wasn't the best idea. I want to keep my house cleaner. I go from one extreme to the other. I'm obsessively neat and clean, or I don't care. I've got two weeks worth of Sunday newspapers sitting next to me on the floor right now. I've got the time to put them away. I just don't care. But I want to find a happy medium of cleanliness versus letting things get out of control because I'd rather watch something I've got on DVR.

5. And part two of taking better care of myself is figuring some things out with God and getting back to relationship with Him. I've completely let that go over the past year or so. I just haven't been interested. I've been frustrated. I've been hurt. And most important, (and this will sound strange, but it's a good thing), I need to separate God from church.

I've let my personal relationship with Christ suffer. And I've simply gotten to a point where I don't know what to do with Him, and I don't know what to let Him do with me. And that has brought me to a place where I have to separate God from church. God is not hurtful or vengeful, but when we are hurt in our church or we are going through a time when it is hard to connect in communal worship or in other ways of worship with our community of believers, we cannot hold God responsible for that. We can't leave God out. We have to find ways to see Him and spend time with Him. He's not just at church.

I want to be back active in my church. But I think in order to do that, I have to connect with God again first. I'm searching and questioning and taking very small, baby steps to move in a more positive direction in this area. I've been very complacent about it. None of this is to say that my church is wrong or bad or incorrect or isn't a great place. I truly believe that it is a great place, and I have been very involved over the years in participating in the growth of my church. I've grown a lot there in my years there and it always hold a special place in my heart. I dearly love the people who make up my church community, and many of the people who are dear to me and who I call my circle of friends are in my life because of my church.

But, it's been a tough year for me. I haven't found the answers I'm looking for there, either in the building, in our worship times, in conversations with people, or otherwise. We're growing and changing as a church, and I am growing and changing and struggling with things that have left me weary of keeping up with much that has gone on for my church lately. So, I've checked out rather than keep trying to make sense of it all.

My journey to get back to it is to start with God and see where that leads me.

That is another big confession, but I will leave it at that for now.

This isn't the sum total of what I'm thinking about for my year 31. But it's a start and it's some big stuff. And my caveat again is that there is no deadline. If I accomplish all of this before 32, fabulous! If I am keeping up with it and staying serious and mindful of not being in exactly the same place that I am right now at 30 when I end 31 at this time next year, then I'm on the right track and I am satisfied with that. I just don't want to have this same list of things to mull over at this time next year.

I don't really do "action items". I do that with everything at work, putting together a list of action items (like a to-do) list, and them checking them off as I go. I try not to be that rigid in my personal life because I think all of the action items at work and at play would drive me insane and occupy all of my obsessive tendencies.

But last year I did have one action item, and that was to call a counselor and get in front of someone before the end of January to get started on the happiness thing. And I did that.

This year I've already picked up some books to get going on my search for God again. So that's my action item and I can already check it off my list, even though it was a completely random accidental opportunity for free books this week.... I started reading one last night and I didn't fall asleep or get frustrated, and it was actually a perfect chunk of reflection from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. about finding out all of the ways God loves us, and everything else comes out of that. Good start for me.

I want to age well. And the key word I'm using for all of the 5 goals above and as I figure out what it means for me to age well is "want". Not need. I don't "need" to make these changes. It's not a chore or requirement. And to be perfectly honest, I could be just fine where I am, doing what I'm doing, not changing a thing.

But aging well is where I want to be and what I want to do, and that's just where I need to be as 31 stares me in the face next week.

Word.

Off to work now... in my pjs and during American Idol, of course.

C.T.

Possibly a near-perfect evening
Well, considering it's too cold to survive doing anything else this evening, and I'm lacking anyone to cudle with on the couch...

Golden Globes on DVR
Macbook
IMDB
Google
Flannel pjs
Leopard-print slippers
Hot spice tea
Blog

I don't know that I will have an all-encompassing recap of the awards like I have in the past. But now that it's an interactive experience for me (what with the Google and IMDB and instant access to what movies some of these random no-name actors are in), I may have perfected my award show watching experience.

Next to being there in person, of course.

Incidentally, getting kicked off of American Idol was the best thing that ever happened to Jennifer Hudson. Nice!

C.T.

I love hotels
I just do.

I'm currently in Florida, sitting in my hotel room, and I love it. Sadly, I'm here on business and not here for fun. Although... I keep telling my bosses that I'm on spring break. They just look at me funny when I say that.

But I think 8 hours of straight meetings, a working lunch, a working dinner, then the past two hours of working through emails from the office that I missed all day proves that I am very much NOT on spring break. I can't even concentrate on Grey's Anatomy. I'm working.

Of course, right now I'm blogging. And then I'm done for the night.

But back to hotels. I just really like them. Forget all the disgusting things about them. I've seen all the Dateline specials about germs all over the bed, in the bathroom, on the remote control, yada yada. You just can't think about that stuff when you're in a decent hotel. I consider it when I'm in a less-than-nice hotel. But in nicer hotels, you just have to pretend that you are the first person to ever stay in this room, and nothing has ever been touched by human hands until you arrived in the room.

It's not even the novelty of my own room, my own bathroom, my own space, or seclusion for a day or so. I have all of that at home.

It's that I have TWO beds right now. Why? I don't know. I didn't ask for two beds. But here's one, and right over there? It's another one. I am using one for sleeping and one for my closet. I don't want to take the time to actually hang things up to get the wrinkles out. My bed-closet is working just fine.

I've got a big bathroom with a lot of counter space. This is super fun for me. My bathrooms at home, while I do have TWO bathrooms that are good and nice, neither of them exactly have superfluous counter space. I love that in hotel rooms I can open my toiletries bag and dump all of it out, leave my flat iron on the counter, along with the hairdryer, a towel, and the coffee pot - all at the same time - and I still have room to function.

I can change the temperature in the room, up and down, all night long if I want to (although I don't want to do that - I pretty much just want to sleep all night long) and I don't have to worry about my electric bill.

I don't have to clean anything or straighten anything, yet when I come back after a long day at work, my bed is made and the bathroom is clean. Plus I can use a brand new towel every time I get myself wet in any way. I have four bath towels, but there is only one of me and I am only here for two nights. That's a lot of towel for a small person such as myself. In fact, I could make a complete towel outfit to wear in my room for the rest of the night, and still have enough towels leftover for my shower in the morning.

My question is, what is up with hotel room alarm clocks? Does anyone on the planet know how to set one of those things? I spent ten minutes on it last night before I finally figured it out. I used my cellphone alarm as a back-up, of course. I usually do the wake-up call, but when I checked into my room last night at 11:00, I witnessed the night frontdesk guy take a call from someone requesting a wake-up call, and his performance in programming the phone to call the guest did not convince me that I should trust him with waking me up this morning. So I chose the room alarm clock and my cellphone.

But I just don't understand why they have the most complicated alarm clocks in the world in every hotel room in the world. It's like they come from a special Hotel Alarm Clock Factory that can only produce complicated alarm clocks for the hotel industry.

I'm sure there are more random things that I enjoy about hotel rooms, but I'm pretty tired. I'm going to pick a bed and go to sleep now.

C.T.

The best moment of my day...
...is pretty much when I get home after a long day of running around like crazy at work and I first get home and into my pjs and snuggle onto the couch under my blanket.

Ok, it might not be the "best" moment. Morning coffee is pretty good, too.

Ipodding in the car on the way to work, also nice. That's new for me, and the ipod has made my morning commute much nicer.

But the moment of combining the pjs (symbolic of removing the uniform of the day and finally getting to relax) with the warm comfort of a soft blanket and a comfy couch (symbolic of, um.... of a good couch) . . . . that's just pretty sweet.

C.T.

There's really no need for me to ever leave my house again
I've got it all right here.

I haven't blogged in awhile. I've been lazy. And busy. I mean, it's been so long since I've blogged that when I logged in to blog tonight, I had to re-enter my password. I haven't had to do that in forever. Then it took me to a new version of Blogger, told me it needed to transfer my blogs from the old version to the new version, and then told me to come back later because it would take awhile.

Um, just how long have I been gone? New version of Blogger??

Anyway, it took so long to transfer my blog to New Blogger, I've lost the desire to blog tonight. But, I'll see what I can do...

Christmas was good. I acquired several key things that could quite possibly allow me to never have to leave my house ever again:

1. The family piano was moved from my parents' house to my house. This is the piano that my mom learned to play on as a kid. Then my sister and I learned to play on it when we were kids. This is the piano that was a torture device from ages 5 to 16, tying me to it (not literally, just figuratively) for hours upon hours of practice when I would rather have been doing ANYTHING other than practice. Unfortunately for me, I was a good piano player. Which meant I had to keep at it because I wasn't bad enough to be allowed to quit. If I had actually seriously practiced all those years, I could probably be some famous piano player person right now.

Well, maybe not. But if I had put more effort into it, I could probably do something with it now. Around the age of 15 or 16, the piano teacher I had at the time was like, "Eh, I've got nothing more to teach you." Granted, she wasn't exactly the most genius teacher I had throughout the years. I had a great teacher (Mrs. Stewart) that we had to leave behind when we moved after 8th grade. But after Mrs. Non-Genius teacher in highschool, we decided I'd given it a good run, she had nothing more to give me, and we left it at that. At the time, it was the freedom I had longed for. But sometimes, I wonder what more I could have done if I'd kept at it.

Really, I jest. The piano years weren't all that bad. "Practice" meant that we set the timer for 30 minutes and I sat at the piano waiting for the timer to buzz while I clanked a few keys now and then so that my mom could hear me "practicing". It wasn't actually "torture", and it wasn't like I was a child virtuoso being forced to practice 8 hours a day. I just always thought there was something I'd rather be doing for those 30 longest-minutes-ever a day. And if I happened to be preparing a piece that I didn't totally love, I just wasn't interested in perfecting it. Even though perfecting it meant I'd get to move on to another piece...

I was good, though. I just didn't have to work super hard at it to stay ahead of everyone else. I liked performing last at the recitals because the recital would start with the young kids, then move through the older kids, then end with the most accomplished students at the end. And that was usually me, or this other guy. And it was always an unspoken competition between us to see which of the two of us would be last to end the show. He was older than me, so technically he should have been better than me because he had been playing longer. But I still wanted to have the honor of earning the last spot in recitals. Truthfully, I hated recitals A LOT. But, I still wanted to be last. To make a statement, of course.

Anyway, this piano monologue has been significant to me because for Christmas this year, I asked for the family piano to come live at my house. Over the past couple of years, I've just really wanted to play. I haven't touched a keyboard in years. But a couple of weeks ago, my mom had the piano delivered to my house while I was at work. When I got home, I sat down and played for a couple of hours. For the first time in several years.

I was SUPER rusty. I didn't even know where to start, so I just opened up one of my books from my lessons and I started with something that had lots of pencil marks all over it. That was my clue that it was probably something I had played before.

My fingers don't work like they used to. But I am proud to say (and Mrs. Stewart, my awesome teacher that I had for years before the less genius teacher I ended with, would be proud to know), that I still have most of Maple Leaf Rag memorized.

And here's the story on that. Maple Leaf Rag was MY song. It was my go-to piece that I played in numerous piano competitions, including (yes, I'm a huge dork) a Ragtime Piano Competition. I rocked like only Scott Joplin could. In fact, I played this song so many times that eventually I could NOT play it with the music in front of me. I would get distracted by the notes on the page. And beyond that, I played it so much that I couldn't even look at the keyboard while I played. It became a party trick. Me playing this ridiculous song with my eyes closed.

(Um truthfully, if the party got to this point, it was because the party wasn't good. And I probably never actually did this at parties because I'm terrified of playing in front of people. I probably only did it in front of my sister and my parents, because it was funny for us. And probably for no one else.... and really I probably haven't really done it for them more than once.... I don't really know.)

And yep, it seems the only way I can still play it is without the music and without looking at the keys. When I sat down a couple of weeks ago, I started with the music, but soon did away with it and fixed my gaze on something other than my hands and the keys. My piano lessons used to consist of Mrs. Stewart taking the music away and covering my hands and the keyboard with a makeshift piece of cardboard so that I couldn't see the keys. This was to get me to FEEL the music and to quit thinking so much. It was genius.

And freakin' hard. But as a result, sometimes I play more accurately without the music in front of me. And somehow, that's strangely easier.

Anyway, I started piano lessons at the age of 5, and I distinctly remember sitting on my parents' bed and throwing a fit at the news that I would begin piano lessons, because I just wanted to play outside and not take precious time away from playing. For most of my years of lessons I treated them like I was being punished. But a couple of weeks ago I sat at the familiar piano, the instrument of torture for all of those years but that was now something I realized I have missed for a long time, and I played because I WANTED to play.

And it was awesome. Mom and Dad, um, thanks for all of those lessons. I'm finally glad for them.

2. I produced a CD. I used the new (old) piano, and my Macbook. And I recorded and arranged a song that my sister wrote in highschool, which I put on a cd for my mom for Christmas. It's pretty genius. And it was like hanging out with my sister again. We used to spend hours on her Casio keyboards doing silly stuff. This project reminded me of that, only it meant something and doesn't sound bad. Plus, I'm pretty impressed with myself that after years of not doing anything musical, within the past few weeks I get a piano and make a CD.





I mean, it won't be exacly topping the charts in 2007. But, I did give myself a Grammy the other day. Just because I can.

I guess I did do something with my piano skills after all... despite not practicing as hard as I could have way back when. Cool.

3. I got DVR. And more than 7 channels. I mean, I've only had DVR for 2 days, and it has already changed my life. I don't know how I lived so long without it. And I also don't know how I've lived so long without Hogan Knows Best and I Love the 90s.

Hulk Hogan is a genius, even when he's not wrestling.

4. I got an ipod. And again, I don't know how I've gone so long without one. I've only had it a few days, but it is GENIUS. Even video on that tiny screen? I don't even care that it's so small because I'M WATCHING SCRUBS ON AN IPOD... IN MY BED... WITHOUT A TV IN THE ROOM!!!!

Genius.

So, as I sit here with my Macbook, DVR, ipod, piano, cellphone, and wireless internet - all of which enable me to satisfy just about any want, desire, or need without having to move more than a few feet in any one direction - I've realized that if I don't drink any water all day, I could probably go all day without having to get up from this spot on the couch. I've got more entertainment contained in one room of my house than I ever really need, all within arm's reach.

And then I realize that I've become something I've never really wanted to become - a tech junkie. I held off for years from upgrading my basic cable to something more than 7 channels. I mocked those who got DVR in lieu of the tried-and-true (and free) VCR that I have sworn by up until two days ago. I scorned those who needed 10 gigs of space on a portable music device to haul around every song they've ever owned in the off chance that they might want to listen to one particular song at any given moment. Seriously, I thought I was selling out when I got my 512 MB mp3 player last year.

It's all just so ridiculous. Why do we need all of these gadgets and bells and whistles? Yet suddenly, I don't know how I've lived without these modern conveniences. I've got 30 gigs of music space and I wonder if that will be enough.

But then I also realize that I don't know how I've lived without music I can make on my own, on an entirely non-portable, non-new, worn, well-used piano. Talk about space and available memory on all of my technology devices. The memories contained in that piano surpass all the available hard drive space and memory on all of my devices combined.

Funny how the old and new came together to make the CD I made for my mom for Christmas. And I carry the songs with me on my ipod to listen to whenever I want.

I can't believe my sister is on a cd. And on an ipod. She'd love it.

I don't really know where I'm going with all of this. I've just been struck at how the new fancy stuff that I've acquired over the past couple of weeks still doesn't quite compare to the value in our old family piano. I feel like my home is complete now. Something was definitely missing. And it wasn't the DVR.

If it's awhile before I blog again, or before you see me or hear from me again, don't worry. I'm just overstimulated in my home with all of my new (and old) gadgets.

C.T.

PS: Don't worry, the puppies are great. They discovered wrapping paper over Christmas and they had tons of fun with that "new gadget".

Lookout. It's the puppies again.

Yep, that's 7 pounds of puppy goodness asleep on my arm.



Everyone should get puppies for the holidays. Seriously.

C.T.

Christmas came early this year
Time Warner has been threatening to rearrange the channel lineup and get rid of some of my favorite channels. I have been dreading that day ever since I first got that announcement in the mail. I pay very little money for only a few basic channels and I've been quite happy with that. I didn't want anything to change.

Well, the day of change finally came. It was today.

I get home from work. I turn on my T.V. It took a little while, but I finally noticed that I was looking at the Food Network.

I've never had that channel before. Hmmmm....

I finally realized what was going on, that the channel day change was finally here. And then I thought that maybe if I have ONE new channel that I didn't have before, maybe I have A LOT of new channels that I didn't get before.

I did that "automatic channel tune" thing on my T.V., and sure enough, now I kinda get ALL of the channels. Food Network, MTV, HGTV, CSPAN...

Well nevermind about CSPAN.

So this is what happened next:

1. I flipped through all of my new channels and found NOTHING to watch. This is why I didn't want to PAY for more channels. There's nothing on my few basic channels. I know there is nothing on the other 100 channels I now get, even when they are free. I ended up watching One Tree Hill on the CW.

2. I realized I was watching One Tree Hill and I was sad and ashamed. So I decided to flip through all of my channels again. Not because I thought I would find anything new, but just because I can.

3. I got lost. I don't know where any of the old channels are, and all of the new ones make a bigger universe for me to get lost in.

Then I did two things that I will probably do often from now on:

1. I found a scary movie. It's one of those bad scary movies that is completely stupid, but when you watch it alone in the dark at home at night (which is against the rules at my house, but what do I do the second I accidentally get fancy cable? I go and break the rules), it scares the crap out of you. It is "Wrong Turn" and it is so dumb, but it could possibly happen in real life, so I am RIGHT NOW scared to get off of my couch. (Think Leatherface but with less chainsaws and more barbed wire. Three people just got eaten by the hill people in like, 5 minutes.)

2. On the commercials I was brave enough to change the channel, and I immediately turned into my Grandma and became engrossed in some pet rescue show on Animal Planet. I couldn't stop watching. It had PUPPIES, y'all!

This is what will happen next:

1. Just when I get used to my accidental fancy cable, Time Warner will figure out their mistake and it will all disappear, without warning, and I won't know what to do without Animal Planet.

2. My next bill will show a charge for this automatic upgrade to fancy cable, even though I didn't ask for it or authorize it. I estimate this cost to be at least $108.

3. I will have to call customer service and get in a fight with Time Warner over the whole mess, cancel my cable, and switch to Dish Network.

But for now, there are PUPPIES, y'all!!

C.T.

PS: I'm hoping that tomorrow when I get home from work, a free accidental DVR appears in my living room.

Ultimate Christmas Music
So, (many of you are about to hate me for what I'm about to say, but....) I've never really liked Christmas music. I can't really put into words the reasons why I don't like it. I just kinda can't stand it. I've always been that way. It's a curse. Every year, the first day that I walk into a store and the canned Christmas music is playing, I'm pretty much in a bad mood until February.

BUT (and this is where all of you who just hated me will like me again) this year I've decided to like Christmas music. I've done some serious soul-searching, I've delved into the depths of my psyche, and I've determined that the problem is that I've just never found versions of Christmas music that I like.

So . . . to make myself like Christmas music this year, I've spent the better part of the past three days searching through every piece of Christmas music I could possibly find to develop my very own Ultimate Christmas Music playlist.

(I may have gone a bit overboard. I finally made myself stop at 77 songs. It has turned into a 4-disc boxed set.)

I don't care if you agree with my picks. Just remember, I am on the road to recovery from a lifetime of hating Christmas music (it's all very dramatic). The following versions of everyone's Christmas favorites do not overtly annoy me, so that I might listen, enjoy, and grow to love.

(okay ONE song does really annoy me, but I put it in my boxed set so that I might attempt to grow to love it. it won't happen, but at least it will make my parents laugh)

Ultimate Christmas Disc 1 - Sarah & Sufjan

Happy Xmas (War Is Over) - Sarah McLachlan
In The Bleak Mid-Winter - Sarah McLachlan
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Sarah McLachlan
O Little Town Of Bethlehem - Sarah McLachlan
Silent Night - Sarah McLachlan
The First Noel (Mary Mary) - Sarah McLachlan
What Child Is This (Greensleeves) - Sarah McLachlan
Did I Make You Cry On Christmas - Sufjan Stevens
What Child Is This Anyway - Sufjan Stevens
Amazing Grace - Sufjan Stevens
Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing - Sufjan Stevens
Get Behind Me, Santa! - Sufjan Stevens
Holy, Holy, Holy - Sufjan Stevens
I Saw Three Ships - Sufjan Stevens
Joy To The World - Sufjan Stevens
O Come O Come Emmanuel - Sufjan Stevens
The Little Drummer Boy - Sufjan Stevens
We Three Kings - Sufjan Stevens
O Holy Night - Sufjan Stevens

Ultimate Christmas Disc 2 - Jessica, Christina, Mariah, Celine, Leigh Nash, & More

The Little Drummer Boy (duet with Ashelee Simpson) - Jessica Simpson
Let It Snow, Let It Snow - Jessica Simpson
Oh Holy Night - Christina Aguilera
The Christmas Song (Holiday Remix) - Christina Aguilera
Silver Bells - Harry Connick Jr.
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Barenaked Ladies
Feliz Navidad - Celine Dion
O Holy Night - Celine Dion
My Only Wish - Britney Spears
Joy To The World - Aretha Franklin
Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer - Elmo and Patsy
O Holy Night - Mariah Carey
All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
Come On! Let's Boogey To The Elf Dance! - Sufjan Stevens
Hey Guys! It's Christmas Time! - Sufjan Stevens
That Was The Worst Christmas Ever - Sufjan Stevens
It Came Upon a Midnight Clear - Sixpence None The Richer
O Holy Night - Leigh Nash
The Trouble With Love Is - Kelly Clarkson/Love Actually Soundtrack

Ultimate Christmas Disc 3 - New Kids, Gregorian, Crash Test Dummies, Muppets, Charlie Brown, & More

Happy Xmas (War is Over) - John Lennon And Yoko Ono
Little Drummer Boy - New Kids On The Block
Last Christmas - Wham!
Little Drummer Boy - Chicago
Mele Kalikimaka - Bing Crosby
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Judy Garland
White Christmas - Aimee Mann
Carol Of The Bells - Celtic Woman
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Crash Test Dummies
Good King Wenceslas - Crash Test Dummies
Feliz Navidad - Jose Feliciano
Happy Christmas - Neil Diamond
Santa Claus Is Coming to Town - Jackson 5
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of the Year - The Muppets
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - The Muppets
Linus And Lucy - A Charlie Brown Christmas (this is the one I HATE)
Christmas Time Is Here - A Charlie Brown Christmas
Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley
Baby, It's Cold Outside - Tom Jones
O Come All Ye Faithful - Gregorian Christmas Chants
Pie Jesu - Gregorian Christmas Chants
Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Gregorian Christmas Chants

Ultimate Christmas Disc 4 - Amy, Rebecca, Michael, Darrell

Sweet Little Jesus Boy - Rebecca St. James
Happy Christmas - Rebecca St. James
O Come Emmanuel - Rebecca St. James
O Holy Night - Rebecca St. James
O Come All Ye Faithful - Rebecca St. James
A Cradle Prayer - Rebecca St. James
Tennessee Christmas - Amy Grant
Christmas Hymn - Amy Grant
Little Town - Amy Grant
Heirlooms - Amy Grant
A Mighty Fortress-Angels We Have Heard on High - Amy Grant
Breath Of Heaven (Mary's Song) - Amy Grant
No Eye Had Seen - Michael W. Smith
Memoirs - A Trilogy: The Voice / Good King Wenceslaus / Hark the Herald Angels Sing - Michael W. Smith
Gloria - Michael W. Smith
The Coventry Carol - Darrell Shepherd
I'll Be Home For Christmas - Darrell Shepherd

I'm sure you see that there are some real treasures in this compilation (ahem... Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, and all things Muppet).

Also, I've remembered three important things:
1. Pretty much any version of O Holy Night will bring me to tears. You will see it 6 times in the compilation.
2. Happy Xmas is always good times. You will see it 5 times in the compilation.
3. I will always have a soft spot for Amy Grant Christmas music.
Those are the three exceptions to my lifetime of anti-Christmas music.

A lot of hard work went into this compilation. I hope I'm not annoyed with it by tomorrow.

Holiday cheer and all that crap.

C.T.

Meet the newest little Tyrants
My parents got some puppies yesterday. That's Duke on the left up front, and Daisy right behind him.



They like to play and climb on me.

And then 5 minutes later, they like to nap.



And then they like to nap some more.



They may be the cutest things ever in the history of all things cute.

C.T.

The Two Bobs
Really, there was only one Bob today. But it was all very Office Space at my office.... space.

I didn't wear flip-flops and a Hawaiian shirt.

His name wasn't really Bob.



C.T.

It's Britney's Prerogative
Y'all! They broke up!



Today I had the good fortune to stumble upon a bit of television programming that dared to delve into the why of Britney and K-fed and all that they ever were, and all that they never more shall be. We may never know what really happened and why they are getting divorced. I mean, I believed it would work between them forever, as much as the next person believed. But I tell you this: the TV Guide Channel's panel discussion Britney & Kevin: Toxic will get as close to understanding the truth as we could ever hope.

Yes, I said PANEL DISCUSSION.

The show featured an expert palimony lawyer, the music director for Yahoo! Music, and two TV Guide Channel personalities that I neither know, nor care about. Together, they reviewed the couple's history, recent events, and the aftermath of the big breakup.

Some important issues that were discussed:

1. K-fed's future.
It's not good, y'all. The general consensus of the panel was that K-fed's future is no brighter than an upcoming season of The Surreal Life. I have to concur with that assessment. He's not going to make it as a rapper. He will fade into oblivion, back from whence he came before his awesome dance moves woo-ed Miss Spears.

2. K-fed's livelihood
Mr. Palimony Expert predicted that K-fed will probably end up with a settlement of a set amount of money per month for half the amount of time they were married. He guessed it could be something like $300,000 a month. And I say... that doesn't sound too bad. In fact, I myself would marry Britney for that kind of a deal. Seriously. I would.

3. What led up to the big divorce announcement last week?
Apparently Britney and Kevin met with separate divorce lawyers back in June. Just to see "what if". Which, you know, is the first thing you should do when trying to make a marriage work. Go hang out with some divorce lawyers and just toss ideas around.

Of course, that was right around the time this interview took place:



So what can we conclude from these events? Well, clearly Matt Lauer and Britney hooked up, Kevin got jealous, he released the worst rap album in the history of the world, you know, out of spite. And Britney finally decided she had enough of The Fed and she left him for Matt.

(I came up with that all by myself).

4. Apparently, on Halloween night, K-fed held a party for the release of his awesome new CD, in New York. Britney arrived to the party separately, did not speak to him all night, and then left in tears. I have a feeling that a lot of people left that party in tears, but only one announced a divorce from K-fed a few days later. And that person.... was Britney.

5. Y'all (and this is where the panel discussion really got to the heart of the matter), it's important to remember that there are children involved in this whole situation. We must think of the children. And my thought is this: between Britney and K-fed, which one will the kids be better off with? If you ask me, that's a lose-lose situation. Don't get me wrong, I loves me some Britney. But should she be in charge of little people? I don't think so. K-fed would probably sell them to produce his next awesome CD. I think what's best for the kids is if they declare legal emancipation from both Britney and K-fed, get their own reality show on MTV, and let the country raise them.

That pretty much sums up the show.

But what I'm here to say is... welcome back Britney! I am tired of this:



And... this:



And especially..... this:



And I think I can speak for the country when I say that we are ALL ready for your comeback. Because we prefer this:



You had a few bad, white trash years. But shake it off, girl. There has been a void in our world without you. So get back in the studio, get back on stage, quit marrying trailer trash, and bring back the pop princess we all know and love.

It's just you against the music now. Hit us, baby.

One. More. Time.

C.T.

More with the scary.
It is 12:30 in the morning. I am sitting on my couch after getting home from an evening with friends. I'm listening to the wind blow loudly outside, with the sounds of wind chimes close by....

Um... I DON'T HAVE WIND CHIMES. And I CERTAINLY don't have wind chimes in the closet where the heater is, which is where the sound of the chimes is coming from...

I'm going to bed. Right now. It will all be better in the morning.

C.T.

In Dreams
I have really vivid dreams. They've been especially vivid lately. I tend to see things like a movie, and these dreams are like movies that I'm in the middle of.

A couple of months ago, I was having really vivid, really horrible dreams. For like, two weeks, I was killed every night in some bizarre way in my dreams. I remembered everything when I woke up. It was a bit stressful. I'm not sure any one thing caused it. I think it was a combination of things.

But in general, even for no good reason, my dreams are super vivid. I don't usually wind up dead or terrorized in them. So, that's nice.

Then I went to Macomb over the weekend and I believe something there triggered the scary dreams again. I could blame the horror of the town of Macomb itself. I mean, yikes. But actually, I will blame the really bad Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie for this. Which, really, is quite bizarre. Because the movie wasn't scary. It was just bad. A bit gory. With a side of terrible acting. But I wasn't scared of Leatherface afterwards. I was just sleepy.

I think anxiety is a big culprit in the nature and deadliness of my dreams. I ALWAYS dream about things that I worry about during the day. Like, when my luggage didn't come to Macomb last weekend, I went to sleep that night and had not one, but TWO dreams about my luggage. The plan for the luggage was that American Airlines would deliver it in the middle of the night and leave it on the porch, since we would be asleep. So, dream #1 involved waking up to about 20 pieces of luggage on the lawn, none of which were mine. Dream #2 involved waking up to find that only one piece of luggage had been dropped off during the night, but it wasn't mine.

I didn't even realize I was worried about the luggage. Sometimes anxiety sneaks up on me. My luggage arrived to the porch just fine, by the by.

So, since I've been home, and since Leatherface made me sleepy with the bad acting and the lameness of the whole thing, I've had scary dreams again. The first dream involved some guy lurking around in my backyard, in broad daylight. Then when he noticed me in the house, he broke in through my sliding glass doors (which I don't actually have), I assume to come "Leatherface" me, even though he was just a normal guy. Fortunately I was already on the phone with 911 and running out my front door, where I was greeted by Backyard Leatherface's friend who was waiting out front. The police took forever to come. Nothing really happened after the Leatherfaces broke in. But I woke up scared. And tired.

I had no idea I was worried about people breaking into my house. I always feel safe here.

Then I dreamed that I was stuck in our old church building (I worked in there for about 4 years alone at night, and I was constantly afraid of ghosts and creepy people coming to get me). In the building with me was a true Leatherface kind of person who had this super sharp sword thing. He was just wandering around the building slicing limbs off of people. Then we were in a house and he kept slicing. I finally got my hands on one his super sharp swords, but every time I would slice something off of him, it would just come back. And the swords kept breaking. Then the next day when I went to work (still in my dream), my work had hired him as a new graphic designer, which made him my coworker. He had convinced everyone that he wanted to be a kinder, gentler Leatherface-type person. But all of his designs looked like the basement of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I wouldn't let him come anywhere near me. I didn't trust him.

That dream is chock full of my anxieties, right down to scary designers.

Then LAST night I dreamed that I was working late (as I've done a lot lately) and someone broke into our offices and stole everything, including my beautiful Macbook, which is weird because I never take Alferd Packer (yes, my Macbook has a name) to work. But stealing him made me quite angry. Then my best friend from highschool showed up (I haven't seen her in years). And she told me that the group of thieves was downstairs in a restaurant and the ringleader was hanging out outside. So I was like, "I WANT MY MACBOOK BACK!", and I ran downstairs to get it back. I saw the Head Thief standing there and I totally RAN at him, then JUMPED at him, and KNOCKED HIM DOWN on the sidewalk. I sat on him until he told his crew to give me back my Macbook. I didn't care about any of the other office stuff. I took my Macbook back upstairs and went back to work. There were also carpet cleaners in the building, but they weren't scary.

THAT dream is pretty much my greatest fear. Working late and losing my Macbook, all in one day. Frightening.

Now I'm worried that you'll all think I'm weird. I'll probably dream about that tonight. And Leatherface.

C.T.

Last year it was Thailand...
This year it was Macomb, Illinois.

I spent a lovely weekend in the not-so-lovely town of Macomb with our lovely, dear friend Emily. She showed me all that Macomb is, was, and ever more shall be. Here are some highlights from my fabulous trip:

1. My flight to Chicago left an hour late, which all but erased the hour I had in between flights to catch my next plane. I had to run all the way across the airport, but I ended up making it in time to visit the bathroom before getting on the plane. Not because I'm a fast runner, but because my second flight was delayed, too. Which was good because after I got on the plane they announced that the bathroom wasn't working.

2. My luggage did NOT make the second flight. I arrived in Moline without it. Then I couldn't find anyone to help me find my bag because apparently no one works at the airport in Moline after 6:00pm. After I finally found someone, they informed me that American Eagle is, in fact, the ONLY airline anywhere that does NOT scan the luggage. So they truly could not tell me where my bag was or when it would arrive, since they could not track it. But they said they would call me if it showed up, and they would even deliver it to the double wide.

3. My bag arrived sometime in the middle of the night to the double wide in Macomb. It spent the night on the front porch and fortunately was not carted off by wild critters while I slept.

4. We watched a lot of bad movies in our pajamas throughout the weekend, which was pretty much the best weekend ever. These movies included the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre (real bad), The Breakup (awkward bad), and Adventures in Babysitting (bad, but in a good way).

5. We visited an apple orchard, which was super lame. We drove for more than an hour with the hopes of picking our own apples and enjoying the nice weather. What we found was a shack with some apples and apple cider in it. We bought apples anyway, which Emily later turned into a couple of apple pies. And those were certainly not lame. At all.

6. We ate pie for breakfast.

7. Then there was the barn tour. We drove through the backroads of the small towns around Macomb and we looked for barns. They all kind of look like this:



We got a little lost. A couple of times. It was not lame. Barns are rad.

8. There was a really awesome play. And I might be lying that it was awesome. Don't worry, it wasn't Emily's show.

9. I was challenged to eat something called a Pony. Picture a lot of bread, meat, and french fries all smothered in cheese sauce in a pile on a plate. I ate it. And later, my colon wasn't happy about it.

10. We witnessed a family dressed in camouflage buying a couch made entirely of camouflage in a store called Farm King. No joke.

11. In case you are wondering if it's really, really dark outside while driving to the airport at 3:30 in the morning through the wilderness of Nowhere, Illiinois... it is. Really, really dark.

I mean, it's no Thailand. But it was pretty rad.

C.T.

I tend to be a bit of a scrooge when it comes to trick-or-treators.
As a kid, we celebrated my dad's Halloween birthday every year, instead of trick-or-treating. We still celebrate dad every year, but at the ripe old age of 30 I don't really care that I'm missing out on trick-or-treating. I never really missed it as a kid, either.

What we did instead of wandering around the neighborhood in search of candy from our neighbors was find inventive ways to avoid trick-or-treaters. We'd take my dad out to dinner for his birthday, like, all night. We'd stay gone for hours. Sometimes we'd stay home and hide in the basement with the lights out, the only light in the house coming from the T.V. with the volume turned low.

As such, I've become somewhat of an expert on thwarting attempts to trick-or-treat at my house. This year is no exception. Here was my strategy for the big day today.

First, I'm generally pretty mean to the kids in the neighborhood year-round. It's important to set that precedent at all times. I yell at them for running through my yard. I give them the stink eye when they wander too close to the driveway. I'm well on my way to being that crazy, mean old lady down the street.

Then, I worked late tonight. Turns out I had a lot of work to do anyway. This was convenient in aiding my anti-trick-or-treator agenda.

When I got home, I checked my mail without turning the porch light on. This almost landed me face down in my flowerbed, but I managed to stick the landing and get back indoors safely and undetected by lurking trick-or-treators.

Then I stumbled around my house with as few lights on as possible. I turned on the T.V., keeping the volume low, so as not to be heard from outside. I ate my dinner by candlelight. Not romantic, mind you. All part of the hideout plan.

I did buy candy, just in case. And by "just in case", I mean just in case I have to stay indoors for days to throw off any lingering trick-or-treators that might think it's a good idea to come knocking on my door say... tomorrow night. Not-so-fun size Snickers and candy corn, all for me. Take that, little kids in costumes!

And for my final touch this year... I turned on the sprinklers. Full blast.

No one rang my doorbell. No one begged at my door, asking me for food, money, love.

I called my dad for his official birthday greeting from me (we celebrated his birthday already on Sunday), I ate my Halloween candy.

Another successful anti-trick-or-treator year.

Boo-humbug.

C.T.

I've been eating a lot of pickles lately
I tend to find a food and eat it all the time until I get sick of it. Then I find something else to take it's place. Until I get sick of that.

While I do like pickles right now, I don't like that there are only like, 6 pickles in a jar. This means I have to buy jars of pickles like, every week. Because I'm not about to sink so low as to buy a giant, economy size jar of pickles. As soon as I buy the giant jar of pickles, I'll get sick of them, and I'll be stuck with excessive pickles that I won't eat.

Last night I had pickles for dessert.

I hope pickles are good for me. Because I've been eating a lot of pickles lately.

I hope the next thing that I eat comes more than 6 in a jar.

C.T.

This is my new favorite drink



Lipton Green Tea with Citrus

The first time I bought it, I thought I would like it. But I didn't.

But I had a whole case of it, so I had to drink it.

Then I decided I love it. And now I drink gallons of it by the caseload.

Drink it.

C.T.

Cable Conspiracy
Recently, Time Warner cable bought out Comcast in our area. While this may be a happy thing for Time Warner, so far I'm not so much happy with the change.

It happened yesterday. When I checked my mail I saw that I had something from Time Warner. It was the new channel lineup. Clearly they think this is a good thing. The envelope boasted this change as though it is very exciting for me....

Your new channel lineup enclosed! We're adding more than 35 new channels!

I was skeptical. And rightly so.

I currently have the most basic of basic cable. It's the local channels, a lot of spanish channels, plus TBS and my favorite, The Discovery Channel. I love Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs. I can't help it.

But these few channels are all I need and all I want. I don't need any more distraction.

Well, as I read over my new channel lineup, I quickly saw that Time Warner has all but destroyed my perfect channel setup.

No more TBS. No more Discovery Channel. Both of these have been moved to a higher tier of cable service. And replaced with.... C-SPAN.

Who watches C-SPAN????

The channel lineup also promised me that "now it's easier than ever to find my favorite channels!" Well, not so much easier to find if you don't offer them for what I'm currently paying anymore.

This means that in a few weeks, if I want to watch my beloved Mike Rowe slosh his way through more Dirty Jobs, I'll have to pay more for it. Plus, I'll have a bunch more channels that I don't want or need.

I'm not happy about this.

I mean.... My displeasure is enclosed! Now it's easier than ever to see that I'm unhappy about my cable service!!

C.T.

Just when I think my job is the most stressful job on the planet...
(and most days it is)

... watching 7 episodes of The West Wing makes me feel better about it.

Running the world everyday is probably much more stressful than my job.

At least some days.

C.T.

LOST Season Premiere Check List

Me - check

TV - on and working

VCR - recording

Comfy spot on the couch - check

Two bottles of Lipton Green Tea - check

Two (not so) Fun Size Snickers - check

Peanut M&Ms (back-up snack) - check

Macbook, open and ready to take notes - check

Wireless internet - working

Warming up with a fresh episode of America's Next Top Model - check


I'm all set for an hour of LOST goodness.

T-minus 14 minutes and counting.

LOST, baby!!!!

C.T.

If you need me today, I will be here:



It's the State Fair of Texas, y'all!!!

Fried food
Corny dogs
Big Tex
Marilyn Monroe butter sculpture
Pygmy goats
Chinese acrobats
Petting zoo
Free stuff
93 degrees in late September

AND... The Fair Gang to enjoy it all with

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Get there.

C.T.

Wonderful World of Windshield Wipers
So I replace my windshield wipers regularly, as any responsible car owner does. And by "regularly" I mean when they start making that horrible screeching noise across my windshield. I figure that's the signal for needing new wipers, right?

Well, I haven't replaced the wiper on the back of the Jeep, um, ever. I've had it for 4 years. For awhile, it was just blatant neglect. I love that little wiper, don't get me wrong. But, I just figured since I use it much less than the front wipers, it doesn't really need to be replaced as often. Right?

But then once I decided it was time to replace it, since it was really only smearing water and slime around on the back window, making it difficult to see, I just haven't been able to find that wiper blade anywhere. So then the neglect turned into lack of supply. It's an 11 inch blade and NO ONE in the world carries it.

Do car part makers assume that everyone is like me, refusing to change that back blade? Surely someone other than me needs it, so they have to be out there somewhere. One would think.

As a last resort I looked it up on the internet, just to see if a store I hadn't thought of might have it. I'm desperate, at this point. I'm annoyed that I can't see out of my back window in the rain. The little blade I took such pride in having was now a source of frustration for me.

And it was making the terrible noise.

So, I ended up ordering it online. What does this say about me, that I ordered a windshield wiper online? Turns out the blade I need is not stocked anywhere. What??? I was forced to purchase it online. I had no other choice.

Now I'm just saying, this blade better last for another 4 years. And it better be plated with gold, because I paid twice as much for it to order it online, with shipping included. Insane.

And the sad thing is, one day I will come home to find a package on my front porch, and instead of opening it to something fun, it will just be a wiper blade that I paid too much for.

It better start raining a lot. I've got a new fancy blade to help me see out the back window.

C.T.

America's Next Top Whiners
The best part about the Macbook and wireless is that I can blog WHILE I watch TV.

Genius!

Ok, I love how the girls argue, cry, and whine about their makeovers. Without fail they do this every year in the second episode. Yet they ALL look better afterwards.

Don't argue with Tyra. She knows what she's doing, girls.

So glad you're back, ANTM. Oh how I've missed you!!

It's a particularly whiney bunch this year. Should be good times.

C.T.

Today I am having fun with Photoshop







C.T.

The mystery that is my yard
The following plants and flowers were all but dead-ish as of last week. I've done nothing to revive them.















Amazing what a bit of rain and a slight change in the weather will do. And some amazing non-gardening on my part.

C.T.

I officially don't care about ER anymore
Now that I can blog and watch TV at the same time, I can bring you this late-breaking, up-to-the-minute news before tonight's season premiere even ends.

I'm watching the show right now, everyone is either shot or having babies or kidnapped, and I don't even care.

Jerry could die in the next 20 minutes. Abby could lose her baby, or she might die. Sam may never be un-kidnapped.

I just don't care anymore.

The show may officially be dead to me.

I'm sorry to be so cruel, but it's true. I just needed to admit that for all to see.

C.T.

More Famous People
I saw Bob Vila at a restaurant during lunch today.



And the reason I was out for lunch today was to meet a longtime fan of my blog, Mark. In which case, I guess I was the famous person. . .



Mark was in town for the Cowboys game and we decided to get together for lunch. I rather enjoyed it, getting to know part of my blog community on a more personal level.

And of course, seeing Bob Vila for lunch.

C.T.

It's Season Premiere Week!
Once again, it's the time of year when if you need me, I will be in front of my TV.

Sunday - The Amazing Race
Monday - Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (this better be good)
Wednesday - America's Next Top Model (and LOST when it come back next month)
Thursday - My Name is Earl, The Office, Grey's Anatomy, ER (I'm about to break up with ER, so it better be good or I am OUT)

These are the basic must-sees, leaving a few hours here and there for new additions, should I discover any.

And I plan to do all of this without Tivo, using only old fashioned VCR technology and careful planning.

Stay tuned for my thoughts.

C.T.

The ice cubes cometh
A couple of weeks ago, my ice maker broke. I deduced that it was broken because it no longer made ice cubes. I tried everything I knew to fix it and make it work again. This included banging on it and moving that little lever up and down a lot.

After a couple of weeks of no new ice, I admitted to myself that it really was broken. It's an old fridge that came with the house. It's just a matter of time before things start to go on it.

So, I broke down and spent 98 cents on some ice cube trays. I admitted defeat. I would have to make my own ice.

I filled up the trays with my Brita water, which actually made me feel better about it. I would have purified ice cubes that would taste better than the cubes coming from the freezer's water hose. This might not be so bad after all.

The cubes froze and I dumped them into the cube holder thingy. I filled the trays again. Not so bad. I'd be allright.

Fast forward a couple of days. I'm in my bathroom getting ready for work and I hear the sound of the ice maker filling up with water. It makes this high-pitched screeching noise that can be heard all over the house, including in the garage.

Um, what?

Turns out, the ice maker healed itself and has decided to work again. And it has since dumped an abundance of ice cubes onto the cubes I made in the trays. So now I have more ice cubes than I know what to do with, and I'm afraid to turn it off for fear it will never start again.

I may have to have an ice cube party to use up all of this ice.

C.T.

I am nothing without my morning cup of coffee

I am old and set in my ways.

I am routine to the nth degree.

I am habit personified.

And it better be good coffee.

C.T.

Roadtrip to Tulsa
Why not?

My dad and I went to visit my Grandma in her nursing home this weekend. This meant we got to make an exciting roadtrip to Tulsa.

Woo-hoo!

Highlights from the trip include:

1. A Tulsa mix cd. Of course.

2. Beef jerky? YES.
My dad and I are proud jerky junkies. We stopped (um, twice) at The Peanut Shoppe (www.thepeanutshoppe.com) - once on the way, once on the way home. They have good jerky. I recommend a stop there if you're ever passing through Durant, Oklahoma.

3. Bingo with old people.
My dad and I rolled my Grandma down to the 3:00 Bingo and we played Bingo with her and all of the other old people. The catch was that my Dad and I tried really hard NOT to win. He warned me that the other old ladies get mad if you win and take the prizes. So, my dad and I watched old person after old person get a Bingo while we cheated NOT to win. No one noticed that we were the only two people not to win anything, and the old people loved us.

4. Animal Planet
My grandma loves Animal Planet. We watched that a bit.

5. Dinner at 4:30.
They start lining everyone up for dinner to start serving at 4:30. And then it becomes the longest dinner ever as they bring one tray at a time to each person. My dad and I watched 4 old ladies eat the smallest amount of food possible in the longest amount of time ever. But, they loved us being there.

6. My grandma loves to show us off.
First, she recognized both of us when she first saw us, and she had no idea we were even coming. And then she impressed both my dad and me with what she remembers about us as she told her friends about us. She remembered that my dad is super helpful, at which point my dad had wandered off to help some old ladies we didn't know. And she remembered that I am super smart and can do just about anything I try to do. She was right, of course, on both counts.

7. More beef? OKAY!
One old lady was talking about how much she loves steak while we watched her eat the saddest sloppy joe I've ever seen. Then as my dad and I left the nursing home for the night, we both looked at each other and decided steak sounded good. So, we had steak for dinner. BEEF!

8. Fireballs + Coke = Keeping you awake in the car
One of the prizes at Bingo that we tried not to win was a bucket of fireballs, which I thought was an odd prize for really old people with no teeth. But, I was craving fireballs after that, so I bought some for the drive home. We ate a whole lot of them. And then we ate more beef jerky.

All in all, it was a good trip and a good visit with Grandma. She looked good, she's eating well, and she carried on good conversations, considering. She looked much better than last year when I thought that was the last time I would see her. She jokes, she picks on me and my dad, she's familiar. It was good to see her.



C.T.

Random fact about lemon juice
It is, in fact, found on the juice aisle.

I took a gamble and learned this new grocery store tidbit of useless info today.

I pass it on to you.

C.T.